Sometimes.... when you feel accepted, like you feel welcomed into this already-existing cliche of people... naturally you feel at ease with them, and whatever crazy shit was cooked out by them, automatically you get asked to join in the fun.
But there are times... when you still feel that nagging 'outsider' feeling... because you were the outsider at the start anyway. They happened before you, and while your presence is felt, it doesn't make that much of an impact. Certain things pull you all together, but certain things keep you apart as well. You don't know their history. Not much anyway. Nothing to fall back on...
And you know you shouldn't feel this anyway, but still it eats at you gently. Don't worry about little stuff like this, but your mind just can't make peace with itself and just let it go. Of course people aren't intentionally leaving you out of certain things... you can't expect to be included in EVERYTHING. That just shows you're being possessive and controlling over something that you can't really have much say in... and that's where it is wrong.
So... you continue to sit, and watch, just like always: from the outside. You're there, but not participating. You sit with your uncomfortable thoughts and hope that after a night's sleep, it will go away and you can face them like nothing ever happened.
Because all these will pass. Because once an outsider, always an outsider....
