Ahhhh!!!!

=.="" well i officially started classes....ughh and from week 4 lagi tu =.=""

still abit blur to as what i should do as i only just came in, but i suppose so far i can still manage.

if i dun spend time facebooking all the time. LOL. xD

Am really loving the subjects this semester. God i LOVE video. =)

Had to do games again this semester. Game & Watch style. Dude brings back memories of consoles from the past. Gonna be tough, but hey, just take it as a challenge!!!

Am really lagging behind everyone else, but will try do my best in catching up!

Gambatte oh! =)

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Got a call from the job interview i went last saturday this afternoon. Wth they actually agreed to my demands. And i had to say 'no' to them cos i am studying!!! I really wish this is worth it, cos i just rejected a job with a good pay.

But then again, maybe i'm not supposed to have some things....things are happening now for a reason. what reason? Only time will tell. For now, just go with the flow!

Some explaining to do.

Ok remember abt the last post where i said i'm at the crossroads?

Well i got a sudden call from the Finance dept on thursday morning, telling me they'll reappeal for me again using my prev sem's results, and suggested i go to classes in the meantime. Then that afternoon i got a call from a full-time job i've been applying, asking me to go for an interview.

So i was at a crossroad. One takes me down the unsure path of continuing studies, as the reappeal results isnt a total guarantee too. I might still stop studying in the end. Another path sees me start working to pay back fees i owe the uni, and this means i'm not gonna take the risk of waiting for the loan and studying at the same time. I'm already 3 weeks late for studies anyway. Another path is going back to Miri to work, as the post i'm going for an interview has a post in Miri as well. Leave everything and everyone behind in Kuching.

So i was torn between job and school, Kuching and Miri. And the whole day i nearly frizzed my mind trying to weigh the pros and cons, analyse this and that, and was weighing opinions i got frm friends and mum.

In the end i chose to continue study. For the moment. Cos i really love classes and i missed them alot.

Mm....just take things one at a time. See how it goes.

*****

Because of the sudden onslaught of things happening all at once i didnt make it known to many ppl yet....it was still a shock to me and i wasnt really absorbing it at the time. So i kept a low profile and didnt tell ppl abt it.

I always try to keep a low profile. I dun really like to broadcast my problems and such. Especially things i myself isnt too sure about. I meant the outcome of the things happening to me or around me. I thought keeping silent and wait out the results is a good thing to do. Like go under the radar or something...

Apparently it is not. Ppl just misunderstand me all the time. Sigh.

Honestly i don't give a damn when ppl misunderstand me and my intentions. Except when it comes to ppl i care so much. Some ppl i hold dear to my heart.....i do not want them to misunderstand me, so i always try to be honest and explain myself. Because their opinions or what they think of me i put in highest regard.

Insecure perhaps? Sumone once told me i have a huge insecurity issue. I dunno. She could be right.

Crossroads.

Faced with possibly one of the most difficult decisions i ever have to face in my life. I mean seriously one step or another is a life-changing choice.

I'm standing right in the middle of a crossroad. I could just feel it.....the turning point of my life. But what should i do? Which path should i choose?

U see, the thing is, too much 'maybe' and 'perhaps' are in for this too. I know no one hardly knows the result of the paths they chose in the end, but for me these stakes are kinda high...

I'm torn. Torn between this and that. Between the want and the need. I need to be rational, but somehow my logic is trying hard to defy me for sum reason.

I dunno what to do, really. What do i want? But what i want isn't totally controlled by me. I can't control the outcome, i can't control the process much. My current fate lies in the hands of others now....

Which path should i choose? The one to the left? The right? In front? Whatever it is, i can't go back, nor can i continue to stay where i am. I'm forced to make a decision soon.

Time is running out.

Ferns growing???

Hmmmm....its beeen a loooong time since i last came in here. And my, alot did happen, and so is everyone's posts. I wonder if i have time to read all of them!!! xD But i will try la...haha.... xD

MMmmmm what's with me these days ahh? Haiz. Let's make it into a points system, easier to say...

I am:

- no longer pursuing my degree course.
- still technically a student of Swinburne Sarawak.
- need a job.
- starting everything frm scratch as i lost alot during the one month i was away frm Kuching.
- feeling less inspired than ever to do design work. =S
- photography passion is still intact. =)
- taking a fucking detour from the flow everyone's going.

Need to self-improvise on some of my skills. And keep thinking positive. =)

Next up will post something about my trip to a Japanese exhibition i went recently, and a post on my university as promised(long ago!!) to my friends. xD Sorry guys just be patient with me!! xD

Will try get more photos done. And shot.

Till then, ciao.


P/S i miss uni life soooooo much. I miss hanging with my classmates!!! =(((