Closure.

So. Finally got closure.

I dunno where to go to from here now. But I've said what i needed to say. I did my part.

I dunno how i'm supposed to react. Hurt because of what u said, or jump in jubilation cos i was right.

Either way, the ball's in your court now.

Somehow.....i don't foresee us ever talking again.

"Try not being a misunderstood being."

As if it is that easy. Try.

Hell, ppl misunderstood me without even me trying to.

And the weigh of people's expectations...it just seems like i'm not allowed a space to commit mistakes. I'm not forgiven for some fault i overlook.

If i try to explain why i made certain mistakes, then people start saying how irresponsible of my actions i really am, how i whine to the world no one understood my well-intentions.

Irresponsible? How abt u saying that to urself? U combusted by ur own will attacking me on something YOU misunderstood, and when i showed u the reason and source of the misunderstanding, u just ignored everything like it never happened.

Not even a sorry. Not even an apology for ruining my night. Not even a token of appreciation for my little help. Not even anything...

And u just stood there and encouraged me to hurt myself even deeper, when i've been hurt so much by ur hurtful words and ur general lack of understanding me as a person.

FUCK U.

Uhm. Yeah.

Hi.

Long time no see.

So what's up everyone?

One year.

It had been exactly one year.

If u were to tell me one year later we would arrive at a stage like this, i would've barfed. If u had told me we'd go thru things we went through, i would've laughed at u.

But....things did happen, and who's to change what's already happened?

Anyway, i'll be celebrating this day alone. Yay.

Cheers....

Skype.

No one is skyping anymore.

I feel so....lonely. And empty.

I remember last year...Skype is where all the fun happened. We'd be online and talk crap most of the time, but we talked and discussed abt assignments too.

Cant help but think back on the days when we would skype call and discuss abt assignment...i still remember there was once this looong conversation going on...i think abt 5hrs straight before the line turned really bad and it all got cut off. But in the end we called again anyway and continued to talk.... xD

Even had a "designer's area" and shit like that...it was SO MUCH FUN. Talking to each other without seeing each other, cos didnt have class etc..plans to surprise friends are also made there...it was so cool....

Chats that lasted until late nights or early mornings. Jokes that were so funny it was hard to continue typing. Teases here and there.

----

Now...the place's just empty. No one is online there anymre. Everyone reverted back to MSN. Or left, because Skype was too much for them. Or they wanna avoid sumone. Or too many painful or regrettable memories. Or too busy etc. Or lazy.

Designer's area is no more. Ppl opted out, no one online anymre. Now whenever i signed onto skype, i don't see everyone anymore. I keep hoping sumone would pop out, but none came.

It was so empty....so lonely. Its like....a ghost town. Or....an abandoned playground. Where there was once happiness and liveliness, now all that's left are barren landscapes of death. Time is still. Not a word, not a sound, not even a whisper.

----

Ever read Order of The Phoenix and Half-Blood Prince? Harry and his friends were part of a secret group of the name "Order of Phoenix". When they were discovered, they "disbanded"......but it was later revealed sum of its faithful members had been waiting for a day when all the members get to fight together again as part of the Order.

The faithful members had been holding onto the coin that they shared, waiting for it to glow, to come to life.

I am still waiting for u guys to come back. I am still waiting for it to glow.

But sadly.....everything seems bleak now.

Week 8?? O.o

Wtf it's Week 8 already!!!

Today is the start of school again after the mid-term break.

Haha. The first thing i post when i went to school is "Mid-term break? WHAT mid-term break??"

LOL.

Cos u see, every single day of my mid-term was spent rushing assignment... T.T

But still, its quite a feat. I know i know, i always do things last minute, but hey, at least becos of this i did sum "epic" things....haha...

Not that i'm gonna say what are them here though. Keeping the epicness to myself for now...

Well assignments had been pushed to another deadline...thank goodness we had mre time to finish it..bt it also means we have to fine-tune it to really good...haiz...

Goodluck everyone. March on, soldiers! Let's fight together!!!

Ok i'm getting ahead of myself...back to mre assignments and assignments...goodness its time for Briefs 2 already!!! >.<

Mid-term break!!!

Finally its mid-term break...lols....i should say "so fast!!!" instead of "finally", since i came in so late to class (for those of u who still dunno what happened, i only went for classes beginning week3(2 subjects week 4!) @.@ that leaves me only 3 weeks to catch up and complete tasks and assignments...

Hmm...so far 2 subjects' assignments have cleared...now i'm left with the game assignment and 3D assignment....deadline extended by the ever so cool and NICE Mr. Augustus....he really is a cool guy!! And i dun mean that only cos he extended for us, but he really is cool! =)

***
Random: i only slept 1 hr today...nw i feel like fainting anytime soon into sleep ahaha....but i dun wanna sleep ler..dunno why...maybe cos dun want waste the first day of holiday by sleeping....haha...feel like want do sumting special, but dunno what ler....haizz...

Hmmm....i joined Photomedia & Design club in my campus oh....and this weekend got trip to Sematang...which i can't go cos no $$...haiz...bo pian~

But this holiday really not like holiday lo...i have to chiong assignment too~~ T.T but musnt get distracted...like that can finish faster!!! =D

***

So far loving it. Studies i mean. It haas been awesome..i find myself really starting to get sucked into the feeling of BEING  a designer...i find myself exploring more, thinking more, and even "itch" more to start designing stuff...be it a normal random sketch, a new angle for photography, or a new trailer for a makebelieve film. LOL.

Oh yeah...for video subject...we have to film a TVC(Television Commercial) with a community message...should be fun xD

Whoops that reminds me i didnt take down any notes for Technical Journal...aikz.....die... T.T

Lol too busy doing last min assignment again ~.~

I guess old habit die hard. LOL....

~~
I think that's all for now....signing off~

*23/04/2010* post

Epicness.

So last saturday my laptop died on me when i have an assignment deadline to meet just that night. I was more than horrified. I hadn't back up any of my files.

I press the "On" button again. The LED indicators flashed on briefly, and there was a sound coming out from the laptop before everything died. i tried again and again, until even the LED indicators didnt even flash on. I was beyond worried.

I tried using plug only. Its the same. The i changed to battery only. Worse. Nothing lits up. I tried both. The LED indicator actually flashed red...so i quickly switch it off.

I googled my problem and came to the nearest conclusion: my motherboard is KO'ed. Shit...i hope the problem's not big else i'd to change the whole motherboard, and rather than doing that why dun i get an entirely new laptop instead =.=""

Sigh.

***

It was not until 3 days later then i had the time to get it checked. To my amazement the girl made my laptop come alive with only the plug connected @.@ i was flabbergasted. Not to mention shocked and embarassed.

"Eh?? Why is this happening?" i said.

"I think its ur battery's problem..." she said. I told her abt the red flashing indicator.

"Yeah seems like it."

@.@

***

So my laptop's ok for the mo...i can only deduce it got short-circuited due to the rainwater i think, when i was bringing it to school that time. I hadnt been using my battery since then; i'm relying on my plug only.

Sigh. Call this epic fail or what? Lol.


*This post should've been finished edited on 07/04/2010.*

Death?

Not until last night had i given this much thought: how easy is it to die?

Last night was so intense, i'm sure i couldn't hold on anymore. I really felt i was dying....or at the very least suffer brain damage due to this intense heat....lol i even went and wiki 'Fever'...i read and thought did i just had hyperthermia instead?

Anyway, back to the topic about death. I realised last night....i could've died so easily and not one of my friends will know. Abit morbid, really, but i actually do wonder what will my friends think if they were to know i died last night and no one knew, no one cared.....

Prolly most of them will go back to living their lives like normal....my death isn't a big issue at all.

But really....in a city with no family and you can only depend on yourself, what happens when u fall sick? When u get mugged by sumone on the streets? Hell if last night i was mugged i won't be able to fight back...seeing how weak i was at that time. I couldn't even raise my umbrella properly.

What to do but suffer alone? Hardly anyone cares anyway.

40 Degrees.

U ever had a fever and got SO hot until u feel like u're on fire and about to combust anytime soon?

Lol i never. Until last night. Ever since two days ago i went out and have chakueh, i've had this uneasy feeling in the throat. Throughout the whole yesterday morning this feeling grew, and by the time i reached late afternoon i can feel a small lump in my throat.

I thought it'll go away, but it didn't. In fact, it got worse rapidly with a speed that surprises me. I guess eating a chilli-laden Thai chicken rice helped abit in the lump's growth. Sigh. And then by the time i was packing to go back home at night i already have difficulty swallowing....slight dizziness came along and i start to feel cold...

All the time i'm walking home i feel cold...which is surprising, cos normally it feels hot as u had to sweat on the way back. But i didnt...i even started trembling a little...i thought i was feeling cold becos of the night wind....then i decided to head over to 101 and get myself that limewater my friend had last time which totally soothed his throat...

I didn't order it rightaway though. Instead i went to the stall selling ice and ask what is good to reduce heatiness. The guy suggested honeydew and i agreed. He made a honeydew ice and to my utmost horror it was filled with coconut santan...that isn't going to help my throat!!! @.@

Then i ordered the lime drink....but it was without semboi and is served cold. By the time i had finished half of the ice i was already shivering from the cold. "Uh-oh" i thought. "Eating ice is the wrong idea....." What do i know? All i was thinking at that time is to just get sumting cold to numb the throat....

----

I didn't realise it actually at that time, but drinking cold stuff worsens the fever. It made my body react to the coldness, that's why i was shivering. To produce heat. This added fire to the already heaty feeling i got, and when i finished it was with utmost difficulty i walked back, trying not to faint, cos i was feeling like it. I couldn't even walk properly, my legs are so weak and joints hurt....

----

So cold...........my teeth was even chattering. Yet i know inside i'm boiling up. Went into my room and straightaway lay down on my bed, covering myself trying to sleep it away. My vision was blurry and my head felt like it was gonna explode. All my joints were hurting at this time. Even my eyes were painful from the overheating. I was on fire!!!

When i woke up suddenly 2hrs later, it was already 1am plus, and my head was burning & dizzy....my whole body feels hot and i was sweating only a little. Dragged myself to the loo and came back in and continue to sleep...woke up again twice in the night for the loo....haha...i drank so much earlier... =.="

***

Then i woke up around 10sumting this morning. I wasn''t feeling as hot as last night; the heat had reduced. But i still have the cold feeling u get when u're in fever. My eyes was stinging though. So much pain everytime i blink. Even my lump had reduced.....i'm now only left with a very soft voice, painful joints and muscles, especially the legs. Goodness....at least my brain is still safe. I was so sure it'll be sooooo hot that i'll suffer brain damage and became a retard(sorry for the offensive term used).

What a time to fall sick. I've got so many assignments to do but all i want to do now is sleep and sleep and sleep. Fever makes me sleepy...but i know enough time was wasted....i've really got to get the things done...but my head is so heavy......arghh........

Funny, i almost always learn lessons the hard way. I must always go through some sort of physical or emotional pain before i 'get it'. Hmmm i guess only by this way that i will learn? Hmmmm........

Tired....i feel so weak..............................ughhhhhhh.....................