Gangsters ehh.

I dunno, i'm kinda afraid i'm gonna be mugged or killed or threatened by someone from the "黑道" someday...

***

U see, our next door neighbour, which is basically a mobile shop, the tauke obviously is someone from "黑道". Just look at the tats on his body. And all those "complex" and gangster-looking people that propped up next door all the time proves just that.

So, if u're a normal human being, u would do almost anything to avoid being in their bad books, in case they do anything to u right?

Trouble is, i'm not normal. I am a stubborn mofo who thinks "this must be this" and "that must be that".

***

The tauke next door ALWAYS ask for our WiFi password. As if we owe them. Whenever we change password they will come ask for it. Wtf??? The password is only given to OUR customers who dined in at our shop and wanted to go online. Not to be used and abused by u who thinks that oh, just by helping us out in meager stuff(fix chair? check phone cover?). U think that is the seal of the deal to always give u the password?

And he also stays up late in his shop, wayyy after closing hours, behind closed doors, doing i-dunno-what inside. Using our WiFi. Bet u all the bananas in this world that it is not something "正道".

So i changed the password again just now right before we close shop(tmr we're not opening), so that no one can abuse it. Then as i walked down to my friends car his friend came out of the shop and asked for the password(what the heck rite? what gives u the fucking right?), whether we can give them or not, and can we give them or not? I told him"wireless is closed, shop not opening tmr" And he was like "really? give us the password la.."

I dunno what got into me. Perhaps anger. Ok not anger. Just severe annoyance. That guy is a freaking gangster man...it's so obvious!! I just told him repeatedly that no mre wireless...he doubted me, and i continued lying. Now i just feel stupid for not finding a better excuse, like "i dunno" or "it's not within my power to give u password" shit like that. Then i walked off waving him off....

And the image of him going "Really?" with those doubtful eyes and dangerous smirk on his face repeats itself in my mind....only then i began to think "goodness what if he sends guys after me to "teach me a lesson"?"

Ok i might be thinking too much but hey, these are gangsters wtf!!!

Really. It is OUR right to give the password whoever we want. It is OUR right to change the password anytime we want. If u're so desperate why don't u apply ur own internet and stop living off ours. U don't pay for our bills do you? U don't even belong to the shop, what gives u the right?

And i hate how he comes and buy our stuff just for the sake of getting the password. Yes he can argue he is a customer also by doing that, but which customer do stuff in the dark past midnight using our wireless and telling us "oh, no download, really using it for phone stuff." PHONE MY ASS fucker.

So yes. Go on and tell me i'm a stubborn person who hangs on too tight onto my principles. Now i might've landed myself in hot shit, i dunno. Sigh.

For the second time in my life, i am fearing for my life. Sigh. Gangsters this time. Shit!

Surprise, surprise.

Guess what? Last night i got a surprise hug. O__O

It was awkward when it happened. At least to me, i think. Well, last night since we are lack of part-timers my boss re-called one of our colleagues who started with us but left at the end of november last year due to final exams, to stand in for the night with me.

She showed up. That was the first surprise of the night. Cos i thought is another guy part-timer(who sadly is a very slow person, add hyperactive disorder to that, really gives me a major headache) who will come.

Me and her, unspokenly, had disagreements. Mostly me with her i think, but still. She is a good worker, no doubt, and she always strives to better herself. A good point, but sometimes it went too far and she's being very competitive. That and over-zealous to do EVERYTHING. Jeez gimme something to do will ya?

But both of us only wanted the best for the cafe, and for my best, i let her do what she wants as long as she did her job. And that she did. But the price is silence. There was always close-to-zero comunication between us when we worked together. Me remaining tight-lipped so as not to show my frustration towards her(and in doing so keeping my anger in), and her dare not talk so much cos she knows if there's no topic, i won't talk(which is kinda true...i would rather stay silent than participate in meaningless intelligence-deficit conversation).

So there exists this slight tension between us whenever we work...and to be honest, ever since she stopped working and two new douchebags came in for work, i miss her professionalism. So when she came in for work that night, i was relieved, because i don't have to spend the night with either one of the two, which will surely take a huge cut out of my life.

Like usual though, we remain mostly silent. I did my part in briefing her abt the new stuff she missed out while absent, and she took it all in with grace. I made effort this time, in cultivating small talk. I teased her abt her clumsiness(she kept knocking stuff over lol. perhaps too nervous i was around...) and talked abt other things.

Then came an interesting incident. A customer ordered hot latte(and later, hot cappuccino) which she both made(while i did the cold ones. I knew she missed making hot drinks) and i saw that she had vastly improved in her milk pouring, as if she never left, as if she never stopped making hot coffee drinks. She was the first......the first to successfully(and in succession too, so there is consistency) draw patterns over the milk froths on both the cappuccino and latte. She did it.

Her flair for perfection drove her to it. But it really takes patience and continuous dedication to make it work. I, shamefully, did not go as far as her, yet i am not jealous, even though i feel defeated. I wanted to congratulate her on her pattern, but again, i remained silent. Until...

...it is my turn to make both cappuccino and latte, one each. I poured out the cappuccino first. She, as always, watches me while i do it, trying to figure and analyse how i make my drinks. I put it out and told her to serve it first. Then i proceed to the latte, which i myself graded it as a failure, because i made a flat-white, instead of a latte. Still i told her to serve it out.

Minutes later when she came back in and i was cleaning up the coffee machine, she, in a serious tone(like always? lol) said to me "I have a question i wanna ask u." Omg what did i do? I said "Yea?" She continued "I've always wondered how u manage to make the perfect cappuccino...how did u do it???"

Omg wait....WHAT?

Just to make sure, i point to myself and asked "What? Me?" She nodded. I went on and laughed it off, saying "Me? Perfect? I can't even make a pattern like what u did..."

She then went on abt how the original and perfect cappuccino does not need a pattern....how the deco is simply a round blob of white, a creamy texture of milk on top. According to her, i made it just now. And that patterns exist more on lattes....it is less dominant in cappuccinos....

And then it hit me. Yeah....latte art! That was it! For latte!

I kicked myself in the head for forgetting abt that. However grateful i am to her for pointing out what i had done to me, i still reserved some unacceptance of what she said to myself(i don't trust ppl too easily), because, for all i know, she is just being praiseful with motives. But she seemed genuine though, so i took it in a way that is non-too-serious, but not entirely unaccepting too.

I was taken aback when the last surprise came. It was time to go home, and dutifully she recorded her working hours and abt to leave. I was packing away my computer, and she came and had her hand out for a handshake. "Goodbye!" she said. I shook her hand and said the same. When we let go, she said "Come!" and now both her hands are open and i actually said out loud what's in my head "What?" before she hugged me.

I was stunned. My bos's brother and his two cousins were there too, and they saw us. Gave a good-hearted laugh to themselves too and went "aww!!" I quickly regained my loss of words and went "Oh...thanks..." as she patted me on my back. And then we part.

The hug signifies alot. I know what she's doing. That hug alone doesn't mean anything more than "Let's set aside our differences. And make peace." Ok i added the latter as an afterthought but i think the main point is the first line.

And it was she who made that step...and now i wonder, am i really such a close-hearted person? I don't store hate in my heart(and in fact i do NOT hate her at all, just a disliking..) and collect it against time. At least that's saying something. If i really am a close-hearted person i would have rejected her straightaway. Blocked her with my adapter i was holding that time.

In hindsight, i do want peace.

Oh, and how did i answer her question? I simply told her, "I just pour it out like that...no secret or specific way to do it...i just did it without thinking much." I'm not sure if she believed me wholely(if she didn't, its okay, it's her thoughts after all), but it's the truth.

Because u know what, i actually didn't know how to answer her. Because i didn't know the exact answer. I just gave her the next best thing.

Thanks, RN.

Lock and Lol...

Ok so i finally did it.

Locked up my Twitter and changed my username too.

Did that to keep out unwanted people reading my tweets. I know some people read my stuff...grr.

Changed my twitter dp too LOL. xD Like finally!!! No mre eggface!! Haha! xD

I guess this speaks volume on how i wanna change for the new year and just leave the past year behind.

Till then, cheers....

Happy New Year!!

Happy New Year 2011!! <3

So i promised to post up pictures i took yesterday, things that happened during my last day of 2010. Pictures speak a thousand words, so let's jump straight in!!

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Start of the day. Gloomy weather.
This is the view outside my apartment. If u squint hard, u can see my university in the distance. =D

My breakfast.
I actually woke early =.= at 4am in the morning i think...but i dunno why, i just woke early, so i ate early. These are IKO biscuits brought for me by mum when she came over Kuching weeks ago. They're good!! =D

1pm. Off to work!!
Like the arrow, let's move forward ppl~~!

Chrysanthemum @Mickey's
Lol so i got thirsty and went inside the bakery shop and got myself a Chrysanthemum drink. As cloudy as it looks, it actually is pretty hot and humid cos there's no wind... =( and also, i didnt bring umbrella lol

At the bus-stop.
The bus actually came really late wtf. =.="" i waited for nearly 40mins and i was late for work!! Shit transport system i tell u. The day before i had to walk all the way to work cos of their inconsistency in arriving on time.

On the way, in the bus.
The bus is not full thankfully. But there are plenty of tired ppl lol. Alot of the passengers are asleep in their seat haha. In this pic the child was sleeping on the chair...

Lunch!!
Since i sacrificed my lunch to wait for the bus early by the time i arrived at work i'm starving like mad. So i went over to the food court and ordered Fried TomYam rice. Lol. It was ok la.

Chocolate Mud Cake

A customer ordered this for their daughter...so pretty!! xD Heard this cake is supposed to be taken warm! Interesting!! xD I wonder how it tastes like...

Evening. Boredom.
I was actually bored the whole day..and when my day-shift colleague went home i switched on my pc and surfed the net while waiting for the night-shift guy(one annoying prick ugh) to come. I had to charge my phone too as well so yeah...

Dinner...zzz...
Was pissed at him earlier bt died down as i went thru training him. Of cos, i was busy not thinking of his faults lol. My appetite returned and what else, i tapau-ed Bakcho Mee...

Countdown at Kado cafe
Closed shop at 11pm(late surge of customers lol i thought there won't be anymre customers erghhh) and then my boss sent me to Kado cafe to meet up with my friends(bless them, and thanks!). They were there earlier and asked if i wanna join so yeahh...it was very dark though and i didnt take much pics at all...i had Green Tea Milk Tea...lol...and then chatted with them(actually i listened more than talk LOL) waiting for 2011 to arrive!!

10mins to New Year
Ppl dwnstairs played those exztra loud, extra-BOOM "cai lei", damn loud wei and so near to the car some more zzz....and i'm kinda excited(tho i didnt show it lol) that New Year is coming!!

...and it's 2011!!! Happy New Year!!! =D
Unfortunately from where we were sitting we were out of sight of the fireworks...ugh....but nvrmind...and lol i dunno why i dun feel like using the DSLR i brought along to take pics, prolly didnt have the mood after shooting some indoor pics that went FAIL. Lol.


We stayed for another half hr and then parted ways back home...it was good being in their company, transitioning to 2011!! Thanks guys!! =)


=============================================================

So that was how my day went yesterday during New Year's Eve...haha...no i didnt go clubbing or whatever...i am not suited and don't like partying that way...and lol, all thru those, the night was actually raining!!! xD

Will it be a good year ahead for us? After all they say "water" brings good luck. But i think of floods whenever "water" is mentioned...haha...


***

How abt today? How did i spend my 1st day of 2011? Pretty boring actually, i just stayed at home doing pics and camwhoring. Haha. Ohh and watched Scott Pilgrim till like 4am in the morning cos i cudnt sleep after i got home @@ It was a good movie, i enjoyed it alot!!

Now hmm i'm just hungry. I need food. So until then, thanks for reading!! xD

Happy New Year once again!! ^^

Final post 2010

Ok! So i guess this will be the final post for this year. xD I hope i'll write more for the coming new year though. I'm finding writing to be really good therapy, and since i got mre time now on my hands to do what-evs, i might as well write...

Yes i do communicate better through writing i guess...i find myself mre able to express and construct what i wanna say compared to being in an actual conversation where i have to speak.

However, i have one project left undone...that is my #p365....i got lazy in the middle of things, adding that to forgetting to take pictures, or taking pics using different cameras. Last i checked, i was nearing the middle of September....sighh. I have a full 3mth to catch up on! I do wanna continue this into 2011 of course...

Ok i must really do it!


-------

Going to go to work soon. I really really really hope we can close early today.....i wanna go celebrate New Year's!! >< That and seriously i don't feel like working at all LOL. Siigh.

Oooh and i plan to take a series of pictures as i go thru the day, recording down how today-the last day of 2010 went for me. =D I'll prolly post them up here chronologically, i dunno but i felt like sharing on twitter too LOL bt we'll see how it goes. =)

So until then, this has been an okay year for me. Let what happened in 2010 stay in 2010, and all the best to everyone for 2011!! I actually can't wait for 2010 to end LOL!

Happy New Year 2011!!



(off to work......)

2010 birthday

I was reading my past blog entries and i realised i did record down how i celebrated my birthdays in the past (well back to 2007 at least, where it was briefly mentioned). And because of me not writing much this year i didn't write down the one this year tho....so in keeping up with the tradition, i decided to write a post on my birthday for this year....

=============================================================

Unlike in 2009, by September i am already a working adult(adult heh....i feel like a child still), and yes, i have to work on my birthday, though i specially requested to work earlier so i could get off work earlier and spend some time to celebrate my birthday myself.

Yes, by myself. All my friends were busy doing assignments, or had plans on their own. There's no one to celebrate it with me this year. I got alot of well wishes on Facebook, real-life and thru text messages though, so it's not all bad.

Though i wish to spend it with certain someone, but it was very unlikely, so i didn't think of it any further too.

My colleagues didn't even know it was my birthday that day..not even my boss...i didn't tell her the reason for my special request, and she didn't ask too....it was only until the next day then i know that she thought i had a special gathering to attend... LOL....

I'm being very secretive ehh? =P Come on i'm just low-key...

Perhaps the fact that no one was there to celebrate with me kinda pushed me to maintain the silence...i think none of my friends knew i got off work earlier too....maybe i prefer it that way cos i had a plan in mind...

***

My plans for the night after work? An all-night photoshoot by myself in Friendship Garden. I wanna do something EPIC. Initially, i thought of video-recording myself cycling around Kuching...but changed my mind soon abit later. At least, i thought to myself, taking pictures will take my mind off things. It might help in getting something out of the photography block i had then.

So after work i cycled first to the HTC shop to get my protective screen for my new phone(a present i got myself 3 days prior, a HTC Aria phone <3), too bad they don't have the leather flip casing yet, i wanted that too. I cycled all the way back to my apartment (i was already quite breathless and very sweaty, which is why i abandoned the video-recording, cos i didn't have the stamina for it sigh) only to find out my hsemate is preparing to go out with his friends, and they asked me if i wanna join them out(after much pressuring me to not go out on a photoshoot on my own), since they are going downtown for photoshoot anyway at the annual Lantern Festival Carnival.

Why not, eh? At least i got *some* company....

So after waiting for my shower to be done we all set off to town. There were so many people...and alot are holding DSLRs =S i brought my digicam along with my phone, and to my major disappointment both aren't taking satisfactory pictures at all; there was too much noise, and my digicam's shutter speed is too slow and everything blurs =.=!!!

That took a toll on my mood...they saw and kept asking me what's up. Told me i have to cheer up abit, it's my birthday after all. But no...i kinda felt empty inside. I couldn't take good pics! Sigh. The other thoughts come creeping into my mind. No cakes this year(i forgot to buy one for myself...sigh, have to buy for myself again!), no ppl i wanna celebrate with, no nothing...i wanted to do something epic to at least remember this day by, but even that was a goner...of cos i feel abit down, and it kinda showed on my face.

After everyone's done with the place we went to 101 for supper...i had some takoyaki (quite good) and my usual, the Kolo Mee i love very much. My mood eased slightly after the food and light chat, and not long after, it was time to go home.

Before entering my room....my hsemate asked me again if i'm okay. As usual, to many people, i said "I'm fine....its ok, its nothing". It's always that few answers....and seeing that i don't wanna go on anymore, he let me off and wished me Happy Birthday again.


=============================================================

And that's how my 21st birthday went. THE 21st. Quite boring, isn't it. But oh wells. Let's see how it will be in a years time...

There!! I'm done!! (sorry no pics tho my sorry line is a headache enuff to me). And, in case i forgot next year, pls do remind me to post abt it in the future! LOL! xD


P/S it's 0321 now and i should be sleeping. Right eye is itchy and red again. Argh.

Last day of 2010.

My, how time flies.

I dunno abt u, but 2010 to me, whizzed by so fast i barely even had time to think. Seems like time is speeding up...was it trying to catch up with something?

Many things had happened...mostly sad, disappointing things to me. I lost things, i lost people. I lost alot....

But then again i think....i still have my family...i still have good health(i think)...i met new friends who turned my life around.....i experienced new things....i learnt alot too...

It's not such a bad year after all. True, it is full of heartbreaks, but i'll think of it as a step for me to be stronger to face whatever's ahead.

And i can conclude, my time here is almost up. Whatever plans God has for me in this place, i can feel i've done them all. He put me here for a reason. And the bell is ringing to indicate that the train is leaving soon, and i have to take it. For my next journey.

It has been an educational year. I got all my answers. Thanks to all the people who played a part in my life over the past year. Bless u all.

Happy New Year!! And goodbye 2010!! =)



*P/S This is post #111. Haha. Me and my numbers. LOL. xD

New blog?

Am thinking of opening a new blog. This current one are so messed up....haha....

However, i think the new blog(if i do make one) will contain mostly poetic writings i think. Or words suddenly popping into my head as lyrics or something. Nothing too personal and such.

Which means if i do, i will still keep this current one.

Ahh headache. Need to think of a new name. =O

Btw, am thinking of changing my Twitter name and setting it to private.

I even got the new name already ;) i woke up from an alternate Twitter universe and it just came to my mind!! :D

Cool! I stole something from my dreams!! :D

Public holiday

So Malaysia won the AFF Suzuki Cup, and the nation got a public holiday on Dec 31 as a result??

Wow. Seems like we all will declare any day as a very important day just cause the nation achieved something.

Yes, the Cup is important, and according to my friend, it finally came home after 12yrs.

My question is, does that seem like a reasonable reason enough to declare a day to be public holiday?

Ohh yes...12yrs....that is long, and we finally achieved our glory. But hey, it took u 12 years. Is that even something to be proud of? And amidst a very known humiliation that our country's football standards had fallen really deep to the very bottom of the heap. The win, of course, gave some bleak hope to this fast degrading national football team.

Is that all? The only reason to give public servants a day off because of a football team even they themselves looked down on?

Yes, i agree, the team should be congratulated and their achievement appreciated and recognised, but this is not they way.

I predict when the team is back in M'sia they will be showered with gifts and titles or honours.

And then, like previous medal winners before them(in other sports of course), fall into a hopeless and pathetic slump, never achieving anything significant again because they get their heads lost in all that materialistic glory.

Yes i am judging, but unless everyone's attitude changes, even those bestowing the gifts, it will happen.

In the little corner....

Went back and read all the posts again....

All i can say is, i miss the old us.

Other than that, i thought i would feel sad....but no, i'm not. Perhaps slightly...but not as much as i thought i would feel.

I feel like continuing the posts. I feel, too, of deleting them. Deleting everything...

But a tiny part of me wants to preserve that. Preserve what is already lost.

Since it doesn't affect me much now, clicking it into oblivion won't change anything. Perhaps, only adding future regret.

What abt continuing it?

I don't know what to write or say, even if it is so.

So shall i leave it as it is? It looks and feels incomplete...everything was hanging there.

I was in the middle of my story. A story i now know nearing its end, but recording-wise, still halfway thru.

Was there even the need to continue it?

I don't know, i don't know....