Skype.

No one is skyping anymore.

I feel so....lonely. And empty.

I remember last year...Skype is where all the fun happened. We'd be online and talk crap most of the time, but we talked and discussed abt assignments too.

Cant help but think back on the days when we would skype call and discuss abt assignment...i still remember there was once this looong conversation going on...i think abt 5hrs straight before the line turned really bad and it all got cut off. But in the end we called again anyway and continued to talk.... xD

Even had a "designer's area" and shit like that...it was SO MUCH FUN. Talking to each other without seeing each other, cos didnt have class etc..plans to surprise friends are also made there...it was so cool....

Chats that lasted until late nights or early mornings. Jokes that were so funny it was hard to continue typing. Teases here and there.

----

Now...the place's just empty. No one is online there anymre. Everyone reverted back to MSN. Or left, because Skype was too much for them. Or they wanna avoid sumone. Or too many painful or regrettable memories. Or too busy etc. Or lazy.

Designer's area is no more. Ppl opted out, no one online anymre. Now whenever i signed onto skype, i don't see everyone anymore. I keep hoping sumone would pop out, but none came.

It was so empty....so lonely. Its like....a ghost town. Or....an abandoned playground. Where there was once happiness and liveliness, now all that's left are barren landscapes of death. Time is still. Not a word, not a sound, not even a whisper.

----

Ever read Order of The Phoenix and Half-Blood Prince? Harry and his friends were part of a secret group of the name "Order of Phoenix". When they were discovered, they "disbanded"......but it was later revealed sum of its faithful members had been waiting for a day when all the members get to fight together again as part of the Order.

The faithful members had been holding onto the coin that they shared, waiting for it to glow, to come to life.

I am still waiting for u guys to come back. I am still waiting for it to glow.

But sadly.....everything seems bleak now.

Week 8?? O.o

Wtf it's Week 8 already!!!

Today is the start of school again after the mid-term break.

Haha. The first thing i post when i went to school is "Mid-term break? WHAT mid-term break??"

LOL.

Cos u see, every single day of my mid-term was spent rushing assignment... T.T

But still, its quite a feat. I know i know, i always do things last minute, but hey, at least becos of this i did sum "epic" things....haha...

Not that i'm gonna say what are them here though. Keeping the epicness to myself for now...

Well assignments had been pushed to another deadline...thank goodness we had mre time to finish it..bt it also means we have to fine-tune it to really good...haiz...

Goodluck everyone. March on, soldiers! Let's fight together!!!

Ok i'm getting ahead of myself...back to mre assignments and assignments...goodness its time for Briefs 2 already!!! >.<

Mid-term break!!!

Finally its mid-term break...lols....i should say "so fast!!!" instead of "finally", since i came in so late to class (for those of u who still dunno what happened, i only went for classes beginning week3(2 subjects week 4!) @.@ that leaves me only 3 weeks to catch up and complete tasks and assignments...

Hmm...so far 2 subjects' assignments have cleared...now i'm left with the game assignment and 3D assignment....deadline extended by the ever so cool and NICE Mr. Augustus....he really is a cool guy!! And i dun mean that only cos he extended for us, but he really is cool! =)

***
Random: i only slept 1 hr today...nw i feel like fainting anytime soon into sleep ahaha....but i dun wanna sleep ler..dunno why...maybe cos dun want waste the first day of holiday by sleeping....haha...feel like want do sumting special, but dunno what ler....haizz...

Hmmm....i joined Photomedia & Design club in my campus oh....and this weekend got trip to Sematang...which i can't go cos no $$...haiz...bo pian~

But this holiday really not like holiday lo...i have to chiong assignment too~~ T.T but musnt get distracted...like that can finish faster!!! =D

***

So far loving it. Studies i mean. It haas been awesome..i find myself really starting to get sucked into the feeling of BEING  a designer...i find myself exploring more, thinking more, and even "itch" more to start designing stuff...be it a normal random sketch, a new angle for photography, or a new trailer for a makebelieve film. LOL.

Oh yeah...for video subject...we have to film a TVC(Television Commercial) with a community message...should be fun xD

Whoops that reminds me i didnt take down any notes for Technical Journal...aikz.....die... T.T

Lol too busy doing last min assignment again ~.~

I guess old habit die hard. LOL....

~~
I think that's all for now....signing off~

*23/04/2010* post

Epicness.

So last saturday my laptop died on me when i have an assignment deadline to meet just that night. I was more than horrified. I hadn't back up any of my files.

I press the "On" button again. The LED indicators flashed on briefly, and there was a sound coming out from the laptop before everything died. i tried again and again, until even the LED indicators didnt even flash on. I was beyond worried.

I tried using plug only. Its the same. The i changed to battery only. Worse. Nothing lits up. I tried both. The LED indicator actually flashed red...so i quickly switch it off.

I googled my problem and came to the nearest conclusion: my motherboard is KO'ed. Shit...i hope the problem's not big else i'd to change the whole motherboard, and rather than doing that why dun i get an entirely new laptop instead =.=""

Sigh.

***

It was not until 3 days later then i had the time to get it checked. To my amazement the girl made my laptop come alive with only the plug connected @.@ i was flabbergasted. Not to mention shocked and embarassed.

"Eh?? Why is this happening?" i said.

"I think its ur battery's problem..." she said. I told her abt the red flashing indicator.

"Yeah seems like it."

@.@

***

So my laptop's ok for the mo...i can only deduce it got short-circuited due to the rainwater i think, when i was bringing it to school that time. I hadnt been using my battery since then; i'm relying on my plug only.

Sigh. Call this epic fail or what? Lol.


*This post should've been finished edited on 07/04/2010.*

Death?

Not until last night had i given this much thought: how easy is it to die?

Last night was so intense, i'm sure i couldn't hold on anymore. I really felt i was dying....or at the very least suffer brain damage due to this intense heat....lol i even went and wiki 'Fever'...i read and thought did i just had hyperthermia instead?

Anyway, back to the topic about death. I realised last night....i could've died so easily and not one of my friends will know. Abit morbid, really, but i actually do wonder what will my friends think if they were to know i died last night and no one knew, no one cared.....

Prolly most of them will go back to living their lives like normal....my death isn't a big issue at all.

But really....in a city with no family and you can only depend on yourself, what happens when u fall sick? When u get mugged by sumone on the streets? Hell if last night i was mugged i won't be able to fight back...seeing how weak i was at that time. I couldn't even raise my umbrella properly.

What to do but suffer alone? Hardly anyone cares anyway.

40 Degrees.

U ever had a fever and got SO hot until u feel like u're on fire and about to combust anytime soon?

Lol i never. Until last night. Ever since two days ago i went out and have chakueh, i've had this uneasy feeling in the throat. Throughout the whole yesterday morning this feeling grew, and by the time i reached late afternoon i can feel a small lump in my throat.

I thought it'll go away, but it didn't. In fact, it got worse rapidly with a speed that surprises me. I guess eating a chilli-laden Thai chicken rice helped abit in the lump's growth. Sigh. And then by the time i was packing to go back home at night i already have difficulty swallowing....slight dizziness came along and i start to feel cold...

All the time i'm walking home i feel cold...which is surprising, cos normally it feels hot as u had to sweat on the way back. But i didnt...i even started trembling a little...i thought i was feeling cold becos of the night wind....then i decided to head over to 101 and get myself that limewater my friend had last time which totally soothed his throat...

I didn't order it rightaway though. Instead i went to the stall selling ice and ask what is good to reduce heatiness. The guy suggested honeydew and i agreed. He made a honeydew ice and to my utmost horror it was filled with coconut santan...that isn't going to help my throat!!! @.@

Then i ordered the lime drink....but it was without semboi and is served cold. By the time i had finished half of the ice i was already shivering from the cold. "Uh-oh" i thought. "Eating ice is the wrong idea....." What do i know? All i was thinking at that time is to just get sumting cold to numb the throat....

----

I didn't realise it actually at that time, but drinking cold stuff worsens the fever. It made my body react to the coldness, that's why i was shivering. To produce heat. This added fire to the already heaty feeling i got, and when i finished it was with utmost difficulty i walked back, trying not to faint, cos i was feeling like it. I couldn't even walk properly, my legs are so weak and joints hurt....

----

So cold...........my teeth was even chattering. Yet i know inside i'm boiling up. Went into my room and straightaway lay down on my bed, covering myself trying to sleep it away. My vision was blurry and my head felt like it was gonna explode. All my joints were hurting at this time. Even my eyes were painful from the overheating. I was on fire!!!

When i woke up suddenly 2hrs later, it was already 1am plus, and my head was burning & dizzy....my whole body feels hot and i was sweating only a little. Dragged myself to the loo and came back in and continue to sleep...woke up again twice in the night for the loo....haha...i drank so much earlier... =.="

***

Then i woke up around 10sumting this morning. I wasn''t feeling as hot as last night; the heat had reduced. But i still have the cold feeling u get when u're in fever. My eyes was stinging though. So much pain everytime i blink. Even my lump had reduced.....i'm now only left with a very soft voice, painful joints and muscles, especially the legs. Goodness....at least my brain is still safe. I was so sure it'll be sooooo hot that i'll suffer brain damage and became a retard(sorry for the offensive term used).

What a time to fall sick. I've got so many assignments to do but all i want to do now is sleep and sleep and sleep. Fever makes me sleepy...but i know enough time was wasted....i've really got to get the things done...but my head is so heavy......arghh........

Funny, i almost always learn lessons the hard way. I must always go through some sort of physical or emotional pain before i 'get it'. Hmmm i guess only by this way that i will learn? Hmmmm........

Tired....i feel so weak..............................ughhhhhhh.....................

Ahhhh!!!!

=.="" well i officially started classes....ughh and from week 4 lagi tu =.=""

still abit blur to as what i should do as i only just came in, but i suppose so far i can still manage.

if i dun spend time facebooking all the time. LOL. xD

Am really loving the subjects this semester. God i LOVE video. =)

Had to do games again this semester. Game & Watch style. Dude brings back memories of consoles from the past. Gonna be tough, but hey, just take it as a challenge!!!

Am really lagging behind everyone else, but will try do my best in catching up!

Gambatte oh! =)

*********************************

Got a call from the job interview i went last saturday this afternoon. Wth they actually agreed to my demands. And i had to say 'no' to them cos i am studying!!! I really wish this is worth it, cos i just rejected a job with a good pay.

But then again, maybe i'm not supposed to have some things....things are happening now for a reason. what reason? Only time will tell. For now, just go with the flow!

Some explaining to do.

Ok remember abt the last post where i said i'm at the crossroads?

Well i got a sudden call from the Finance dept on thursday morning, telling me they'll reappeal for me again using my prev sem's results, and suggested i go to classes in the meantime. Then that afternoon i got a call from a full-time job i've been applying, asking me to go for an interview.

So i was at a crossroad. One takes me down the unsure path of continuing studies, as the reappeal results isnt a total guarantee too. I might still stop studying in the end. Another path sees me start working to pay back fees i owe the uni, and this means i'm not gonna take the risk of waiting for the loan and studying at the same time. I'm already 3 weeks late for studies anyway. Another path is going back to Miri to work, as the post i'm going for an interview has a post in Miri as well. Leave everything and everyone behind in Kuching.

So i was torn between job and school, Kuching and Miri. And the whole day i nearly frizzed my mind trying to weigh the pros and cons, analyse this and that, and was weighing opinions i got frm friends and mum.

In the end i chose to continue study. For the moment. Cos i really love classes and i missed them alot.

Mm....just take things one at a time. See how it goes.

*****

Because of the sudden onslaught of things happening all at once i didnt make it known to many ppl yet....it was still a shock to me and i wasnt really absorbing it at the time. So i kept a low profile and didnt tell ppl abt it.

I always try to keep a low profile. I dun really like to broadcast my problems and such. Especially things i myself isnt too sure about. I meant the outcome of the things happening to me or around me. I thought keeping silent and wait out the results is a good thing to do. Like go under the radar or something...

Apparently it is not. Ppl just misunderstand me all the time. Sigh.

Honestly i don't give a damn when ppl misunderstand me and my intentions. Except when it comes to ppl i care so much. Some ppl i hold dear to my heart.....i do not want them to misunderstand me, so i always try to be honest and explain myself. Because their opinions or what they think of me i put in highest regard.

Insecure perhaps? Sumone once told me i have a huge insecurity issue. I dunno. She could be right.

Crossroads.

Faced with possibly one of the most difficult decisions i ever have to face in my life. I mean seriously one step or another is a life-changing choice.

I'm standing right in the middle of a crossroad. I could just feel it.....the turning point of my life. But what should i do? Which path should i choose?

U see, the thing is, too much 'maybe' and 'perhaps' are in for this too. I know no one hardly knows the result of the paths they chose in the end, but for me these stakes are kinda high...

I'm torn. Torn between this and that. Between the want and the need. I need to be rational, but somehow my logic is trying hard to defy me for sum reason.

I dunno what to do, really. What do i want? But what i want isn't totally controlled by me. I can't control the outcome, i can't control the process much. My current fate lies in the hands of others now....

Which path should i choose? The one to the left? The right? In front? Whatever it is, i can't go back, nor can i continue to stay where i am. I'm forced to make a decision soon.

Time is running out.

Ferns growing???

Hmmmm....its beeen a loooong time since i last came in here. And my, alot did happen, and so is everyone's posts. I wonder if i have time to read all of them!!! xD But i will try la...haha.... xD

MMmmmm what's with me these days ahh? Haiz. Let's make it into a points system, easier to say...

I am:

- no longer pursuing my degree course.
- still technically a student of Swinburne Sarawak.
- need a job.
- starting everything frm scratch as i lost alot during the one month i was away frm Kuching.
- feeling less inspired than ever to do design work. =S
- photography passion is still intact. =)
- taking a fucking detour from the flow everyone's going.

Need to self-improvise on some of my skills. And keep thinking positive. =)

Next up will post something about my trip to a Japanese exhibition i went recently, and a post on my university as promised(long ago!!) to my friends. xD Sorry guys just be patient with me!! xD

Will try get more photos done. And shot.

Till then, ciao.


P/S i miss uni life soooooo much. I miss hanging with my classmates!!! =(((