Transition...with a newspaper

I seriously never thought I’d be the newspaper type. I mean, I do read the papers, and since we used to only buy the English paper once a week, I averaged to reading a newspaper only once a week. Other than that, occasionally I would peek into the daily Chinese newspaper, looking only at the entertainment section(yes, I love it when there’s updates on celebrities) and the sports section. That is how I lived with newspapers in the past, before I leave home. Another fact: I prefer English newspapers first to anything else. If there’s none around, and there are Malay and Chinese newspaper lying before me, I would choose the first over the latter. Hehe.


That was before. Now, a lot of things from the first paragraph I mentioned had changed, except one thing: I still prefer English papers over the others. Ever since I’m being away from the familiarity of my family, I only approached newspaper at work, and, not familiar with the newspapers here, I hardly checked them out, except well, the sports and entertainment section again, another thing that hasn’t changed(sorry, I just realized my mistake). I also hardly watch news anymore, since the timing is not right and the news pissed me off when they didn’t report things that I want reported. Ehehe. U can say I am pretty much similar to be ‘living under a rock’, metaphorically.


However, one thing happened this week that made me buy a paper. Wimbledon. The oldest tennis tournament in the world. The most prestigious, and infamous Grand Slam of all. A dream for any tennis player to just play a match in it, much less win it. Every self-respecting(and respect for the game) tennis player wants to win it. And this year is the first time I won’t be catching any of the matches ever since my interest in tennis started. Nevermind that. I have a goal: to watch a final at Wimbledon. I’m sure I can do that. But better if my favourite player is also playing the match. And this year is a challenging year for my fav player. So this Wimbledon is really exciting.


And if u thought that when I mentioned something happened this week that prompted me to buy a paper that I was talking about Euro 2008, I don’t blame you. This year’s edition is full of ups and downs. I might be talking about it. But tennis still remains the sport I loved the most.
The papers at work didn’t mention much about tennis, nor the news(which pissed me off again). So, eager to find out what’s the latest news to come out of the All England tournament, I went to buy a well-known English local paper to satisfy myself. And, while walking to work desperately clinging to the paper with my mere fingers (while holding a bottle, my lunch and my bag), it dawned on me I had become the ‘newspaper type’. The thought dawned on me and I was like ‘Damn!’!


I do not mean to place labels, or separate anything into categories, or placing clichés when I said I had become the ‘newspaper type’. I mean no offense, since I know ‘labeling’ something or someone these days is a sensitive issue. When I said so, what I mean is, I had associated myself with ‘adult’ behavior, since generally during my growing up I associated newspaper-reading with ‘something only old/working/news-addict people will do’, where the ‘old/working/news-addict’ people are adults. And I had become this type of person who walks to work carrying a paper to read(minus the morning coffee). I am slowly, unconsciously, fulfilling the transition from a ‘youngling’ to an ‘adult’. Growing up, I only knew one person who’s the same age as me, who openly declared he liked reading newspapers, and will read it everyday(with coffee!). I am starting to do things my once-naïve(innocent, so as to speak. *winks*) and young mind resented to do, because I had previously thought ‘that is soooo ‘adult’, and why would they do so when u can play and play all day’…


My, my. When they say people changes, I have to agree. It’s a phrase that has been used for a long time, more prominently in advices. People change. I changed. What I’m doing now, what I like doing now, differs from what I like 5 years ago. I changed. I see things in a new way. I am more experienced as I live all my days. Change…..it is a necessary evil. Sometimes it’s for the good, sometimes it’s not.


As we grow up, even our problems change. No matter how positive u want to be, or how positive u are, there would still be problems in our life. The thing is, do we want to label the change as a ‘problem’, or stick with the fact that it is merely a change? A change in our routine of things perceived to be ‘working in order’? I know I am dangerously close to going off-topic again into the subject of ‘problems’, so I guess I had to stop here and think about it another time.


What I was trying to say is, as we grow up, our ‘child’ problems also ‘grow’ to become ‘adult’ problems. When we were younger everything was taken care of our parents so we had little to worry. Our only worries are those that consists of stuff like ‘Will I be able to play with Maria and Anthony tomorrow? I hope mum agrees!’ or ‘I think we still can beat Thompson High, even tho’ they’re the best in the league’; or ‘why is the teacher being so strict?’; or even ‘I just wish David would notice how much I changed just for him to take notice of me’; or ‘Just what the heck in the world must I wear for prom night tomorrow?’


As we leave school(and for some, family) to become part of the ‘working class’, it’s a whole new world out there. Our worries got more and more, and we came to realize the stuffs our parents went through to spare us from such problems. Now as adults we would shake our head and smile while reminiscing our younger selfs and events of the past. As adults we would think, ‘those stuff back in high school actually worried me so much? It’s nothing compared to my current situation!’ As adults we seriously had more to worry about. Rising fuel prices, relationships between coworkers, the job itself, not to mention finding the ‘love of one’s life’. Because in the eyes of our next generation, we are THE adults, and so have to be responsible for a lot of things, and we are the ones that need to protect the children from the harsh realities of life, just like what our previous generation did for us. Me? I’m walking head-on into this stage of my life(while a voice in my head starts telling me that I’m too thick-headed to admit I’m in the stage already).


Why am I thinking so much on this matter? I don’t know. Well, I know actually. To be more precise, I have an idea why. Cos it’s part of my nature. I think a lot, sometimes going overboard and doubts and negativity come creeping into my mind. Is this something worth thinking over, so much so I had to blog about it? Why, yes I think so. Not only I had made the transition from kid to adult(not fully yet, of course), but my problems too, had grown on their own accord. I might associate myself with ‘adult’ behavior and ‘adult’ problems, but at heart I’m pretty much the same old young(can u put ‘young’ straight after an ‘old’?) me, despite my ‘mature’ appearance & behavior that my friends would sometimes tease me about. Still, I am grateful for being blessed with living and working under conditions I find comfortable with, and having the people to support me. I am thankful for them, and looks forward to a better tomorrow each and every day. Thinking positive helps, but being emotionally good-spirited helps a lot too. So, even though it might come as a challenge, I’ll try, wait, I try, to be positive every single day.


And, bless me, I started to do the paper puzzles! And even thought how romantic it would be to wake up each morning sitting in bed doing the morning crossword together with your better half. And the thought that I sucked at the paper crossword even considering my English proficiency doesn’t help much to reduce my problems either. But what the heck, it’s still fun, considering that now I read other sections of the newspaper too, and is now more ‘in touch’ with events of the world, even if in my ‘young’ mind it’s still a pretty much adult affair.



Written 29.06.2008, updated 29.06.2008.