Dark Jacket.

I have a jacket i never seem to wear. Not because i don't like it, but because....我不舍得。我就是不舍得拿来穿。。。

Its a black hoodie jacket my previous colleagues got me as a farewell gift when i left abt two years ago. Even when they gave me, it took me around more than 6mths to finally wear it. =.=

I have this sort of....fetish? Attitude? I dunno what is the right word...but yeah. I have this sort of "thinking"....when ppl give me stuff i deemed "precious" to me, i will *not* use it...like my friend once gave me a bottle of perfume...and i dunno, it just seemed such a lavish gift to me, and till now i haven't use it... >.<

I did tell my colleagues abt this...abt not using certain stuff cos it was too "precious" to me...i told them that when they asked me to take a pic of myself wearing it. One of them then said to me "Cannot like that....u must wear it to honour ur present....to honour us, ur gift-givers!"

She has a point though.

But still it took me mre than 6mths before i finally wear it(of course i did wash it before zzz)...started to wear it to classes where i know the classroom will be cold, and started to wear it to cinema....damn cold places especially the campus library =.=

Given the level of preciousness this jacket is to me(among other reasons too, like the fact it's one of the better quality clothing i have in my list, and how warm it is (= ), it is very obvious that i will not share it with anyone else. U know some ppl will borrow jackets and stuff, but i was kinda glad no one asked for mine....cos i'm not sure i would've liked it if i had to share it with someone. It's my personal.....thing.

But i shared it with YOU.

Silly you. Forgot to bring it, knowing full well we're going for a movie for the night. The others had on their hoodies as well, except u. So i gave u mine....i can't bear to see u in cold like that. And this, i gave, without hesitation.....i kinda liked it when u are wearing my jacket tho. I was smiling inside...

U looked funny in my jacket. It was too big. Haha. And i knew....back then, when i passed u the jacket, that u meant more to me than anything i could've ever dare imagined. That i'm in deep shit. Sigh.

U wore it until i had to step down frm the car when we went back home. I remember taking it from u and wearing it and liking the warmth u left behind. And i remember smiling all the way while walking back to my room lol. I know, what an idiot. =P

That, now that i look back, seems like ages ago. Things happened, we fell out. And i went back to never wearing the jacket again. Even when i knew i was gonna freeze to death in whichever places i was gonna be in later. The library, the lab, the cinema. I now prefer to wear my other cheaper jacket which i bought years ago. Material is thin, hoodie is too small for my head, but at least another layer of shirt will keep me slightly warmer.

I was wearing it when i was walking back home just now from the cinema. It was raining and windy, so the night's chilly. And as i looked at my brother's comfy black hoodie jacket, i thought of mine folded nicely in my huge luggage back in my apartment.

I haven't worn it in a year.

And all the while i was walking back, i thought of it and the choice of not wearing it. Wearing it brings back the memories....and although i had accepted everything that happened, i still can't deny the fact that now, after everything that has happened, the jacket is now ultra-precious to me.

I will wear it again, no worries. In fact, i look forward to premiering it again soon. Haha. But one thing is for sure....i will NEVER share it with anyone, anymore.

Because u wore it before. And i want u to be the only person other than me who has worn it. U dun have to know this....i'm sure u dun want to know this. But i'll just keep this to myself. Now that i'm leaving...and i'm leaving u, this will be the last item i can remember u by. And also my ex-colleagues, whom i'd rarely keep in touch now...hmmm...

This is the story of a jacket i own and hardly wear.



P/S Really, dun gimme that "It's ONLY a jacket." thing. That shows how much ppl don't understand.