Patapon..u are still out of my reach.....

Woke up at 2.15pm today. First time i slept till afternoon!! Sweeattt~~~!!

Man its hot here. And i haven eat yet. Feel hungry. Maybe i'll grab some cookies from above. Haha. Arghhh...feel so lazy to do my essay assignment...research....theories....i hate u....lolzz.....

I wanna play my Patapon. But...i left my pendrive in my friend's car....sweatt....always like that....jeez...now i cant play cos the game is inside...oh bugger.....

Ya i just send an email to my lecturer abt my misplaced frames....stupid...all becos i named the file wrongly...ahh...damn....so blurr these days...sigh...when my lecturer read my mail she'll be wondering how come she has such a blurr student @.@

Speaking of blur, i miss my blur blur fren back in home. cant wait to go back see her.

Hmm...just five days into exams...and the library is getting more and more empty now...most ppl finish exams....cool...yesterday i even manage to bag the best seat in library ever....no CCTV camera watching u...and no space for other ppl to look wat u are doing from behind...very nice...just perfect spot for designing stuff....hate it when ppl look at ur stuff frm behind...give me pressure only!!! Aahahah....soon...it'll be foundation student's turn for exams......mwahahahhaha.....

Wanna buy headphones. So i cud play Skype. Hahahhaha!!! Go Skype!! Highly recommended~~~

Lighter shoulders.

Today i feel like a heavy rock had been lifted off my shoulder. Hahah. As cliched as it may sound, i do feel somewhat 'lighter' today...

U see...i finally passed up my last major assignment. Now i am left with one more essay assignment and 2 more exams. Then....FREEDOM!!!! All the weeks of intense stress and little rest...is finally over. Now i can rest for abit than study again for exam, and after that i'm free to do wat i want...till i go back home dat is.

Cant believe i have 2 weeks left before i go back home. I'm so happy!!! But my happiness is somewhat dented by the fact i still need to tell my parents abt the lost phone...dunno how they react!! Wish me luck ppl~~

Today coincidentally, the Chief Minister came to my campus. I was even forced to go out of the library to go to the MPH to attend his seminar. The guy in library so rude. The way he announce, wat 'order from registrar', wat 'i repeat, to all students in library, u MUST go to the library NOW...'....the way he talk, so rude!!

Then the new bulding got red carpet again...wahseh...i din folow the red carpet tho...so i dunno where that will end up..no wonder campus suddenly so many flower pots...no wonder last night got lorry bring chairs to MPH...no wonder my friend cant park her car where she wanted due to areas being blocked away for guests and VIP!! =.="


I didnt see the man tho. I dun go for his seminar as well, cos i need to touch up on my last major assigments, 'music lyrics'.........


Lol. I ended up not liking my pieces. I am only satisfied with 3 out of the 6 frames we all need to do. LOL~~ and i made the mistake of putting frame 1 together wiht the 3rd frame for my lecturer..sigh..have to change it....

So deadline time was 5pm..and i only went and print around 4.30pm...lol...cos i'm slow...and cos got traffic jam. By the time we came back campus(my friend the Bunny brought me over to Saberkas and back again...thanks!) it was already 5pm. Shitt!!

But thank goodness the lecturer as kind enough to let me arrange my work and burn the cd in the office...lol..so i made it...except for one stupid thing that is the wrong frame thing. Guess i have to mail lecturer....

So wat did i do after handing up the assignment...well....i watched some of the stuff i got from my BK A classmate...cool...then...I FINALLY DID MY LAUNDRY. It has been there for weeks. Ugh. I serious;y no time to do laundry.......hell..i cant seem to have enuff time for everything...and also cos i know my laundry will take me around 2 hrs...how can i waste time do laundry lehhh...lol...


Thank goodness for finishing laundry, i almost have nothing else to wear already!! ahahah!! Ah...i jus went fell asleep for awhile..so tired...and i also returned to my Facebook today..found i had 97 notifications and that my Dreyfus had turned all smelly. LOL~~

Hmm...wat else i wanna add ahh? Ya...today eat supper i tink too muhc ajinomoto...now i'm craving for cold water. ANd i keep drinking my plain water. So i wanted to buy cold drink at the vending machine,, but the machine is broken(why all the machines in campus all broken no one fix? lol~)...so in the end i did not get any drink at all. And i am still thirsty...

Oh ya roomie back liao. Well looks like she's staying in room for the night...but...just now she went out again...i saw my other fren checking himself out in the toilet downstairs...i had a feeling they are going out in their own little group again...oh wells. Curently i am still alone in room...lol....

Lol ya. So dat was today from me to u all. Interesting day. And also the last day in campus where all of us classmates meet each other in class together. Aww. Hope we get to hang out together soon tho. Heheheh...nice to be everyone's classmate...i learnt alot from all of u...thanks everyone~~

Speaking abt classmates....me so weird...i only got close to my other classmates when semester is ending...weird, but with me that is an usual thing...cos...i dun warm up to ppl fast easily...and the weird thing is, i'm losing my 'gang' at the same time as well...wow...so many things happen at crucial time...made me so stress the past 3 weeks...

But thankfully, i got to chat and laugh with some of my classmates...cos the whole semester, i wasnt in anyone's group. Well i'm not categorising myself, but really, i dont mix much. It all changed nearly 3 weeks ago when a few of us started chattin with each other online after playing a 'note' in facebook...lol...can say facebook provided the spark to this friendship ignition. Lol..i'm glad..i'm really glad....so that when i leave here and go back to hometown, i can go knowing i rily did make frens in my class, even tho i lost my 'hostel' frens the 'gang'...meaning, i did get to know my classmates and stuff...which is cool...cos they are one of me: they are designer students!!

So yea...before i get anymore sentimental...let's end this post..with a line i wrote which i liked, cos it popped into my head suddenly and it sounds nice...


"Intense stress and little rest"


Man i feel like rapping. Haha. Thanks Bunny again for being there today~~~

Mini update~

So here's a teeny weeny update. Remember my last post? Well, currently i have finished ex. 3 (12 frames, 4 for each 3 topics) and ex. 4. Hah. Time is running out. I am going to start my ex. 2 (3 silhoutte frames) afta this. Then hopefully in time to finish touch up MV frames. Grr!!!

Finished drawing all 12 frames for ex. 3 in nearly 6 hours. Average 2 hour per topic. Damn. SO slow!!!! Haiz. But i finished my ex. 4 faster than i expected, so yea dat's cool. But still....i need to hurry up!!!

Huh. My roommie not here tonite again. She called me just now abt my rackets. Cos i put mine together with hers in her big bag. Just now she wanted to move her big bag to the 'bf's house. Heh. I dunno wat to think abt that. Its their thing, her thing. She and the 'bf' how already i oso dunno. Been losing touch with everyone from 'that group' since that incident. Oh wells.

Ya today in library i saw something. Well yesterday in library there was a very loud noise coming from the right side of the one-person table...and everyone was looking in dat direction. Me of cos not so kepo la...i din go see....so i dunno wat happen. I tot people stuff drop down. Then today...while i was searching for a nice table to do my work...i saw it!! The whole damn table broke down from the cabinet!! Wow. Watever the dude who sat there put on the table....sure its heavy!! Or the table was already weak. And sorry, no pics of it. My camera phone is lost~~~~ =(((


Ahh,,,then the library today by 2.45pm quite empty...cos all the ppl went to exam!! Hahhah can see who is business student and who's not....lol.........


Ahh. Cant wait for friday to come. And go. Haiz. Back to assignments~~~


P/S i really love my ex 4. its nt the best looking or most interesting, but still, i love it. cos its my idol~~~~LOL~~~~

Morning rattle.

I'm so freaking pumped up.

"AAhhh!!! 8.20am already!!!!" I thought angrily as i saw the time on my phone.

Damn....what's wrong with me?? WHy these days i easily fall asleep when i dont really need it? I need to finish assignment for god's sake. I even dozed off in the middle of 2am to wake up nearly 5am later..to say goodbye to my chat frens and go to sleep. Set the alarm to wake me up 1 hr later but no!!!! I had to leave the phone in silent mode and so no alarm rang.

Shit phone. I forgot its not like my old ones. Or any of the newer phones that rings even tho its in silent mode.

I'm being very angry at myself. Tomorrow is presentation day!!!! I had intended to not sleep for the whole of wednesday and thursday!!! Eeekk!!! I'm so pumped up. By adrenaline, by my anger. I dont care. I WILL finish the whole crap by tomorrow!!!!

To do that:

1. No sleep. Definitely!! I shall stay awake, like last week.
2. No internet. Ahh. Except to check mail. And perhaps Skype.
3. No going out to eat. Just tapau burger la!

Time is running. I've got exactly 24hours left till presentation time. In this 24 hr, i shall have to:

1. Finish those effing music frames.
2. Draw 12 frames for exercise 3.
3. Draw one for exercise 4.
4. Three more for exercise 2.


May the Force be with me.......................................................

Short lapse of concentration.....

Pffft. Wat the heck. I cant seem to concentrate on assignment. Damn. And i kept falling asleep halfway, and that doesn't help AT ALL. Why am i sleeping so randomly these dayss......man...once all this is over, i must go back to my old sleep cycle.....

Ahh. Writing this just so i wont fall asleep. Hehehhe. Hmm. I have gone 2 days without facebook now. Hahaha. I dun tink anyone played much as well, since everyone busy with exam. Oh wells, good luck everyone for the exams~~~

Speaking of exams, i realised i still dunno the dates for my Moral and BK A final exam. =SSS Ahh...i'm that ignorant. Haahah. SHould be 24th onwards tho. Hehe. Oh, and i thought i will be free after this friday. Then suddenly 20th century got major assignment again that will keep me up till 24th exactly. Man!! I have no rest at all until the exam finishes, it seems............

Ahh. Wat else for this mini update. Glad that i updated my blog. I've started to really enjoy writing again. Heck, maybe cos i had no one to talk to, and i figure i'd say it out in the blog. Hehehehe.

I got myself undestanding more of blogspots stuff. Like 'following'...and how notifications of new comment be sent to my email. I know i know....i'm THAT noob. =//// Next up: learning how to post pics up..... X))

Oh. Today is second day without my dear 5610. I only used it for roughly 3 mths, i just realised. Even tho it was bought earlier. =(((( I miss it very much. But my new phone...i still treasure it given its 'shortcomings', because, well, i treasure stuff i own. And that it is really officially the first phone i bought for myself. I dunno, i am starting to feel something towards this new phone already. Affection, perhaps? LOL!!!!

Ahh....i guess i should go back to my assignments nw. Due date this friday...i must really speed up. Time is running out and i still have those damn exercises!!! >.< No more proper sleep....or i should rephrase....more improper sleeping times now........



P/S Cant wait for the new Transformers. Today i watched a small new clip from the movie. Megan Fox and a robot.....not a big fan of Transformers, so i dunno wat that Decepticon is called....heheheh....cant wait cant wait!!! xDDD

I lost it.

Perhaps subconsciously i saw this coming. After all, i had been very prone to do it. I was that careless. Careless and blurr, and not alert at all. I sometimes take pride in being alert, but, oh, i dunno. Perhaps weeks of irregular sleep patterns had changed me. Or maybe unhealthy diets. Or my condition is getting worse. I dont know. One of the few.


Today, i officially lost my phone.


My dear phone!!!! I'm sorry!!! ExpressMusic phone. One i treasured very much cos its one heck of a cool looking phone. And....the phone is not mine originally. It was my dad's. He re-used his old phone just so i could use this new phone. =(((( I feel so guilty. I feel so shameful. I feel so....bad.

I had left it in the car when i went to saberkas to reprint my stuff. I was paying, and i put the phone down on the seat. And then i chatted a bit with the uncle. Then.....i just went down. And left the phone behind. And stupidly, i only realised i left the phone almost 2 hrs later!!! How freaking idiotic can u be!!!

I was finishing the last touches to my orkbook and had wanted to leave the room. Then...i realised my phone's not there. The horror i felt. I cursed out loud. First thing i thought of is not the phone, its abt my parents. Sure my dad and mum gonna kill me!!! The phone is not cheap!!! Yes, it may not be those hi-tech phones which have everything, but nvrtheless, it's still expensive. I feel scared to go back home now. And i'm going back in 2 weekss time. =(((

What will they say? Will i get scolded like shit!!!

And then....i thought of my fren who i wanted to meet up together to see lecturer. I thought she must've texted me or sumting, and i wasnt able to reply!! Even so i still went to the uni bookstore to buy stickers for my folder before i went up to see her and my lecturer.

She was there....i was so relieved. I finally found one person i can borrow phone to use. Cos i need to recall my phone...and...i realised.....i dun have anyone in campus to depend on. =(( And i didn't remember phone numbers!!! So yea i was relieved and so i asked to borrow her phone to call my number.


The line is dead. With the voice saying "Sorry, the number you have dialed is unreachable. Pls..." i knew i had lost it forever. All positive thoughts that i might still find it is lost. The feeling i got that time was......indescribable.

I call the uncle again. The phone wasnt in the car anymore. Sure i die. Then i thought of my sim card. I need to suspend it! And my fren, bless her, called the operator for me. And i got my line temporarily suspended. =((((

After we went see lecturer(which didn't help, as the lecturer was not in a good mood and i think i absorbed her stress a bit) my fren offered to bring me go saberkas to get a new phone. God bless her. She wanted to go back do assignment, but becos of me...she had to delay.....i feel so bad....

So i got myself a really basic phone, costing just over $100. Really basic, no FM radio, no bluetooth, not even infrared. Lol. And the way i buy it, i was so rushing. Didn't even think of going other place to survey and compare. I just went to the first shop and bought it. God, wat was i thinkin!!!! The whole day...i wasnt thinking properly. I dunno why. Not enuff sleep? Not wanting to waste my fren's time? Aftershock of losing phone? All are possible.

And then we went Spring to retrieve a replacement sim card. At one point my fren asked me wat is pistachio. I knew it wasa a type of fruit or flavour, but i wanted to know the chinese meaning so i cud explain it properly to her. I reached into my pocket to get my trusty old phone to check dictionary.....then i realised i had lost it earlier. The heartbreak!!!! =(((

At last we went back campus. I'm glad my fren can finally go back and do her stuff!! While i continue to worry abt my last phone....now i do not have a camera phone anymore. I cannot take pics anymore. I felt like i lost a limb or sumting. Everywhere i went, if i saw sumting interesting, sure i take pic. But now....all is lost. I have to be contented with this new phone and 'look forward' to my parents anger....

So i spent the time configuring the phone. The tones suck big time. I was so sad. My expressmusic........gone. WHy me so careless?? But then right. This phone not that bad. It has a flashlight which i could turn on. Cool!!! How many of u have phones that have flashlight??? xDDDD And i cud also set different themes for different profiles...like general, or silent mode. Kinda cool!!! xDDD


Well all is not bad. Cant dwell too much of the past now. I should move on with the new one. Hard....cos i'm loyal. But. I shall think positive. No more complaining. =))

Ahh. Which reminds me. There was an online survey in my campus, where we stand a chance to win an iPhone. xDDD Maybe i was destined to lose my expressmusic phone in order to win the iPhone???? Who knows???? xDDDD


Oh, sure alot of ppl wanna smack me for my arrogance oredi. xDDDD




Shoutout: Sharon Bunny, many thanks. Words cant express my gratitude. God bless u.
Dear 5610, sorry to be such a stupid owner. I loved u alot.

Every one and no one.

Friendship problems. Huh. There's this thought that cropped up into my mind one day.


"I can be friends with anyone. Not anyone can be friends with me."


I even went and thought abt different variations of the sentence.


"I am friends with everyone and no one at the same time."

See, ppl get bored of me eventually. that or they give up on me because i was too.....weird. Hahah. But i am used to it, i guess. I think more will come. Oh well.

How did i come up with that sentence? cos i was thinking abt how....i was there for a fren...and no fren was there for me. something like dat. like i can be anyone's friend and let them tell me wat they want, but in the end when i needed to do that myself, no one is there. yea, sumting like dat.


If anyone have new variations, can post as comments. all are welcome. but let me keep mine. xDD Ciao~~

Mini update...

So my posts have been so emo recently. sigh. wat a time to feel all this tension during the week that matters the most. argh.

i jsut read back some of the older posts. heart aches when i saw one post where i'm thankful for the friends. which i just lost. in a way. ahahahah~~~

anyway a mini update. now i'm in the final week of assignments. after this friday, i'm practically relieved of all the major assignments. which is cool. hehehe. cant wait for friday to come. last frday managed to get two major assignments out. relieved....


okay!! one more week and i'm going to be free!!! gambatte!!!




P/S i FINALLY got Patapon 1 and 2. gonna play it soon after assignment. and i just watched new trailer form FF13. Fucking cool. I'm terminally obssessed. LOL~~

Time has changed. Things have changed.

If u read my last post, u'll know that i am trying to put up effort to make up to the bunch of frens...not really making up, but u know, just to change things back to how they were last time before.

And. In the end i was hurt more. And more. And wat's worst, i dun tink there's any turning back now...

See, all the times i have been avoiding them...they had had so much fun without me. They met new frens thru anothers social circle. They hung out with each other more. They enjoyed themselves in facebook more. they are doing alot of stuff, going thru alot, and i missed all of that.

Well, that wasn't the main problem. I can do with not catching up. But the thing is....things are different already. No turning back.

They had gone so far without me. did so much without me. experienced alot without me. i'm cool with dat. i mean, wat do u expect, u were urself slaving away at ur assignments and not contacting them!!! but...i was too late. they were too far gone ahead. Up until the point where i am now an 'extra'.

Yep. Dat's right. They had moved on without me. I was no longer important in their circle. Ouch. That hurts. I'm having this silly ache in my heart now. Damn. Gotta continue. Well. Last time, it used to be like this: whenever there's lunch, suppa, tea or some hanging out together stuff, tehy will call me or text me abt it. askign if i wanna join. Now? No more. Even when i tot we were all past the last incident. Its still the same. Clearly they had moved on and got annoyed by me. They dun call me to eat or hang out anymore. And the funny thing is i always caught them hanging out. or havin dinner together. once i saw one of them waiting downstairs to go out. he saw me i think, and when i turned back to see him, he's gone. avoidin me perhaps? i dunno. then i caught another goin out. so they must be goin out together. another time i saw them came back from outside together once.

i'd like to think i dun care. but a small part of me does. why they dont call me?? why have to be so secretive abt it? why?? and another thing. whenever i hang out with them since the last incident, i always feel so left out of watever they were talking abt. they had gone thru so much, i cant even keep up anymore. so most of the time i was silent. and strangely, they continued talking as if i'm not there. no one asked how's my day. how's my assignments doin. am i ok. nope. nothing.

i feel left out. and that hurts. cos. they are the only friends i have in here. if i lose them, i have nothing else. if i am who i am 3 years ago, i will be very afraid. but the me now...i cant do anything abt it. i had to let them go. if i lost them, so be it. i cant force. forcing does no good. they are different. with me, or without me, it doesn't feel like a big difference. i slowly faded out from them.

thre's this fren of mine...who once were quite absent in our hang out last time. and all the time my fren was always askign abt her and stuff. care so much abt her. at last she was back in our group and everyone is happy.

i wonder if i'm the same tho. i tink mine is totally different. i was away for so long, yet noboddy misses me. when i was back, no one asked me wat i've been up to. so different.

does my presence not matter so much!! wat role do i play in the group? i dunno. seriously dunno. rght now i tink i can walk out on their lives and they wont even care. i dun tink they ever cared.

they saw me emo, then shun away from me. i told them why i'm disappointed with them, sure they think i'm childish and possessive. they saw i dun act normal...they dun dare to ask me wat happen. they ask among themselves. WTH. they dunno how to deal with me when i'm like this. they dunno anything abt me at all. they cant even differentiate me when i'm seriously angry or not. even when i'm joking and playfully teasing them that i'm angry, they turn all serious and apologise to me. wat the heck. if u cant even differentiate whether i'm serious or not then....u;re really disappointing as a fren. going by the times we all hang out together. utter disappointment.

I'm not like them. I have no one. They have their relatives here. they have their old classmates here. they have boyfrens or galfrens here. they have tons of frens among themselves. me? no one. i had no one to turn to. i had to suffer all of it by myself.

recently i'm always seen alone by ppl i know. and i'm getting more and more of this question: "Why are u alone? Where are ur frens?". i wanna say they left me. but no. i gave up some shit like 'oh, they're busy.' or 'i cannot be alone issit?'. anything but the truth. i even went and declare i've always been a loner. which is true.

if frens give up on u so fast, they are not worth it at all. they say they care, but they're not around when i need them. ppl find my flaws as time goes on, and then abandons me because of it. Nevermind. I've been thru this before. One more wont hurt. Its just another slash at the heart only. No big deal. The wound will close up. All that remains are jsut ugly scars anyway.

Now i dun hang out with them anymore. i dun call them up. i'm walking away....leaving all u to be free among u.........while i continue on my path as a lone ranger. you all continue on. thanks for walking with me on my journey so far ever since coming to campus. Now i shall bid goodbye as u all walked the other path to another journey. Goodbye gang. Hope u all find ur own happines amongst each other.

A bad case of....bad case.

Things can be funny sometimes. Ironic, even. Well, i just find it amusing....

This week...hmm...i dunno wat happened really. So may tension. All from me i guess. In a way, i made it happen, but then, things happened for me to do it. I cant stop myself.

I can sense....awkwardness between me and my 'gang'. My 'gang'. My petname for all of us, tho i keep this only to myself. U see. SOmetimes they annoy me. Like, being too careless. Or just ignorant. Like the incident in my last post. Well, we talked things over. Em, not really 'over'. How did the talk go?

They asked me wat's wrong with me. Why i seem to avoid them. Heck, they were back from drinks, which i rejected following them, and they look sleepy. I ask them if they're sure they wanna talk abt it then. Cos...i wanted to talk abt it when everyone's clear-headed. They insisted. So yeah no choice. I tell them.

With me, its always no choice no choice. Sometimes, i think, i can die because of my friends. Die FOR them. Die COS of them. I think both are applicable. I'm letting myself be taken for granted. when they wanna talk abt stuf i'm there. When they wanna speak abt their problem i'm there. But what abt me? Who do i turn to? Where are they when i need them the most?

I did so much. Yet. Got nothing in return. I'm not directly pur[osefully asking for something back. No, i'm not that kind of person. But i had a talk wiht my other friend, who's not in this circle. We talked abt how some part of us we are similar. One of them is that...we are actually demnding individuals. In a way. I shall explain.

You see. Ppl like me, we dun expect much from other ppl. we dun ask for stuff from other ppl. the only thing we wanted back is something equal. not more, not less. equal and same is fine. like how we ask ppl something, if we asked u only stuff abt A, then of cos when u ask us back it shud be abt A only.

Is dat why i'm expecting so much back in return? just cos i gave out a lot? i dunno....


A while later, i chatted with another friend who's not in that circle as well. i found out we are the same. well i've, we've actually known him to be a loner, but i myself never expected him to be so similar to me. like for real. we talked...abt how no one understands us. yea u may shake ur head and laugh at our pathetic emo-ness, but its true. till now, i can still find not a single person that understands me. and so we shared our experiences wiht other ppl. i found out we had so much in common. i'm starting to really like this guy. as in, like. not crush or sumting. just like. and i'm glad i found another me.

we talked abt possessiveness. he started by asking me...if i am possessive. i replied yea, at times. but not everytime. he said he does it too. we think its a part of us dat we cant help much abt. its in our nature(ppl, read star signs). i shared wiht him my thoughts on possessiveness.

for me...i think its cos i cared too much. so much so until i became possessive, and din realise it until its too late. well now i'm better. now i know when exactly i'm being possessive. so i take a step back and be calm. not always worked...but ut wass definitely helping...

we ended the chat with him advising me to hold on to my friends, cos i dun get many chance at friendship like dat. he's worse, he got no friends. i rily pity him. ahh..well.


So, i shud be more open. Dun be too possessive. treasre them. i'll try..........