One year difference

Ducca’s birthday a year ago was, well, eventful. In a good way, of course. On that day something happened that was previously unrecorded in Ducca’s past birthdays. Not that Ducca’s past birthdays are dull, in fact, every birthday is special to Ducca, but, the memory of last year’s birthday is especially sharp.


If one year ago, during my birthday, if you’d told me I’ll be spending my next birthday with strangers in an alien place, I would have laughed in your face.



But it did happen. A year ago, my mates sang the birthday song during class which made my face extremely red. A year later, I’m in a totally new place which I visited for the first time, spending my time with around 60 people I had not known existed before. And no, they didn’t sing the birthday song. Thank god. Lol!


All I can say is, what a difference a year makes. The saying, though clichéd, rings so true: you never know what will happen tomorrow, let alone a year! Though this year I’m far away from my closed ones(I miss them badly!), events that happened made this year’s birthday another special occasion.


Because I had to be outstation for days leading up to my birthday, I really can’t celebrate it on the big day itself. Thus, my relatives over here celebrated with me a few days earlier(thanks!) and the next day I was off to work outstation for 3 days.


Around two hours left to the start of my birth-day I received a surprise from one of my colleagues who was also outstation with me. Ohh..i really didn’t expect him to treat me, so I was really surprised when it came. And then the clock struck midnight, and well, my birth-day began!


I spent the first hour of my birth-day playing ps2 with virtual strangers, which happened to be my hostel mates for the day. It’s been such a loooong time I last touched a ps2, and I deserve to play till late night ahh!! Ahahah!! I was already starting to like my hostel mates a lot. They are very kind and warm and funny and approachable.


I went to sleep around 2am after that, only to wake up 4 hrs later for work! The whole day I was trying hard not to fall asleep during work, with a slight headache too. But I told myself this is only for a day, how many times do u have the opportunity to work elsewhere and spend good time with people you just met? So what if I slept late? I don’t get to do this often!


When it was time to say goodbye, there was the tiny feeling of sadness there again. over the relatively short time we had, I had grown to like the place and its people a lot. I was sure I’m gonna miss them! One of them greeted my birthday as we parted, and I’m thanking him in my heart that he remembered, tho I suspect he still couldn’t remember my name!


For dinner I bought some Dunkin’ Donuts(we don’t that store where I’m staying) and off we’re back to our original town. I checked my phone and found there were a few messages from my friends greeting me. Aww..you guys!! Thanks a lot!! This marks the first year I’m not seeing my friends on my birthday, and also theirs. Sigh. Don’t worry, when we gather in the future, let’s party till we drop our pants!! XP


So. A year is all it takes for all the difference. A year later I’m in a new place, around new people, doing new things. I wonder then, how will my birthday next year take place? Another new place? Another new event? Another person to share it with? Who knows? I only know that, a year from now, I’ll look back at last year and this year with fond memories.


This is an account of how I spent my first birthday away from my loved ones, what I did, how I did it and who I did it with. I miss you guys. Thanks for all you’ve done.

*written 21st Sep*

A rare day

Like most of Ducca's friends, Ducca has two birthdays in a year, one from the lunar month, and one from the widely used 'English' calendar(Gregorian, issit? can't remember the official name). But the two birthdays never fall on the same day for as long as Ducca remembers. Then it occured, it never happened since Ducca was born.

But this year, it's different. This year, in fact, Ducca finally gets two have two birthays on the same day.

This year's birthday is really really special. It is xtremely rare that the two dates fall on the same day. The last time this happened was, well, was on the day Ducca was born!!!

The next time it happens again...well...Ducca might be very old already till then...so let's savour this year's b'day with awesomeness!!!


But there's a downside though...this year marks the first year Ducca is without Ducca's loved ones near during the bithday...and on such a special, once-in-a-few-decades year....it makes the heart ache....it's just too bad...and sad...

But Ducca refuses to be saddened by this fact...it is, after all, a special day, and why spoil it? Whether Ducca is going to celebrate it alone or not, at least, take heed in knowing that this is not a moment to be missed...



Happy Birthday Ducca!!!

What price would you pay?

Seven dollars. It's not really that much. But for a poor ass ex-student with low income living off breads almost everyday, seven dollars is a heavy sum to pay up. So, to be fair(to my wallet too), i live by a fairly loose rule: if you want to spend, make sure it's damn worth it. And no regrets.

It was a Monday, and i had an extra off day. What do i do? I have two choices: either stay at home and listen to 3 kids shouting, crying, playing and fighting outside your door, or go to the mall. Being the bored ass i was, either i get out, or explode in my own room.

So there i was, in the mall. Wanting to catch a movie, i went straight to the cinema. there wasn't much choice; there's only 'Money No Enough 2', 'Babylon AD' and 'Death Race' being shown among other thai horror movie and malay romance film. And Wall-E. I chose to watch 'Money' first, and in i go.

After 2 hrs i came out, not knowing what to do, and where to go. Why not, i say, watch another movie, just to pass time? Now i'm left with 'Death' nd 'Babylon'. From the papers, 'Babylon' didn't get good reviews. And 'Death' does not really appeal to me either. I have a feeling that i would be disappointed in both films, a feeling both won't be the kind of film i reeeaaalllllly enjoy, but what to do? Do i want to spend another seven dollars for a movie i think will be crappy?

My logical side is screaming 'IIDDIIIOOOTTTTT!!!!!!' as i handed the girl behind the ticket counter my cash. i went in for the movie, and i came out feeling a little pissed. The movie is THAT bad. Shit!!!!

There i am...a bit regretful for sitting through the movie...but later i reasoned, hell, it is waaay worth it than enduring kid's screams and shouts and tantrums. Seven dollars of freedom....seven dollars of crap movie...a small price to pay.

i made it sound if the kids are kids from hell. Well, they are, in a way, when they have their tantrums(which, by the way, almost all the time!)...


So yea. what price would you pay to escape these kids? i say seven is just right.



By the way, the crappy movie which i went to is 'Babylon'. The paper was right. Damn. ANd i have no intention to watch 'Death' either.

For your information...

When i was near to starting up a new blog earlier this year, my friend who had started her own blog, considered having two separate blogs. She asked me, will i be able to cope with managing two blogs? how will i differentiate the blogs? will it be the same or anything? will i even have the time to update it?

sadly, the last question i have to admit is no, i don't have time to update it. As for having two blogs, so far i'm managing quite okay.

So FYI, if u are new to my blog, pls do head over to my first ever post and read about my 'introduction'...pls play by my rules, and i'll play by yours. i'm that simple. for those who have been visiting my posts for a while, well, hello again, and thanks for droppping by, but i have sumting to add...


this is how i'll differentiate my blogspot and xanga. for the blogspot one, i shall post matters more that have a more 'serious' tone to it...like uhmm..stuff that's kinda deep. Lol. Meanwhile for the Xanga page, i'll post stuff that has more humour, or more towards giving out facts and trivia kind of stuff. so to summarise, blogspot is more serious, and xanga more...fluffy. LOL.

Also i will post same stuff on both sites, but that really depends on the subject matter. Overall, generally speaking, a post may be available on my blogspot, but wont be available on my xanga, and vice versa. Some will be exclusive to one site only, while at times some posts will be available in both sites.

I think that's abt it..click on the 'Linkin with Ducca' if u want to head on to my Xanga page...u are ver welcome there...


peace out~~

Merdeka

Today, is my nation's independence day. having spent almost my entire life in a foreign land, i never get to really absorb the independence spirit in my own homeland.

This year, though, is a teeny bit different. Last night at midnight there were fireworks to celebrate independence day. The fireworks aren't spectacular at all, quite common, they even lose to the fireworks my neighbours put up during CNY!!! But the atmosphere was lively. hundreds of ppl standing streetside, waiting near their cars, under trees, in coffeeshops, in their vehicles, just everwhere, all stood or sat there waiting for the fireworks to start.

And when the fireworks stopped, there was a huge traffic jam as everyone started their cars or motors and prepare to leave. Even there are a lot of ppl on bicycles, carrying the flag of our nation, speeding us buy. That's when all the vulgarities began.


'Aahhh!! STUPIID!!!!' people shouted everywhere. Angry curses are flown everywhere as cars tried to reverse and go out. another person screaming stupid again as a motor nearly collided with a bike. chaos is everwhere. I was in the care thinking, 'is this really the true independence spirit we all are supposed to have during this time of national celebaration? is shouting angrily at other people seem like how independence day is portrayed on tv and newspapers? have we lost our patience, understanding and forgiveness in these hard times? where exactly is the unity spirit?'




Then came a soft voice saying, 'Merdeka.'



I turned around to see who said that. A car that was crawling past us had a few guys in it. The driver, seeing me turning to look in his direction, repeated 'Merdeka' again, and smiled to me. I smiled back acknowledging him while his friends at the back looked at me. We eventually passed each other, but i can still hear him saying 'Merdeka' to the car behind us as he drove on.


Soon...some cyclist and people on motor greeted each other with the word 'Merdeka' again. I caught some more angry retorts from some other people, but still the word 'Merdeka' warms the heart more than anything. A simple greeting, a greeting which unites the nation, a greeting that will be returned with the same acknowledgement, is the only important thing at that moment. Despite the bad moods of most of the people stuck in traffic, there are still some who revel in the Merdeka spirit...perhaps caused by the fireworks, or the simple fact that our nation is celebrating its b'day again. Perhaps, after all, not all is lost, and i went home with a smile, extremely proud of my country, and extremely proud of being its child.



Happy Independence Day to my fellow rakyat. Merdeka.

Falling in love never seemed so cute before.....

Ahhh….not that I’m in love or anything, but really, falling in love had never been shown any cuter. Love at first sight, the process of courting that special one, doing everything to protect your special one, pain of losing your special one….all the things experienced when in love, had never seemed so innocent and cuter. Hmmm…it’s not the Valentine’s(not yet, anyway), and I’m not in love, so u are wondering, WHY THE HECK AM I WRITING ABOUT LOVE?


Hahahah…ever since beginning of this year, unless you had been living under a rock all these time, you should have seen a tiny robot with binocular-eyes everywhere in commercials, walls of buildings and shops, magazines and everywhere. Now do u finally know what the heck I’ve been trying to say?


Yes…the little and cute robot everyone got to know as WALL-E(short for Waste Allocation Load Lifter-E Class) began appearing everywhere, thanks to the clever ideas of the promoters of the film. Yesterday I went to catch Wall-E. and I only have one word for it: CUTE.


And I’m not only talking about the character himself. Everything in the film, the manner of Wall-E(who, after 700 years of cleaning up human’s mess on Earth, had developed human-like feelings and emotions), the interaction between Wall-E and his lady love, EVE(short for…I forgot :s), the robot in the giant spaceship Axiom, the travel through the space, the acknowledgement of mutual love, the re-understanding of Earth…and lots more. For a movie which doesn’t have much dialogue, it carries itself pretty well.



A short synopsis of Wall-E: Humans no longer inhabit Earth, thanks to the ever mounting amount of rubbish generated by humans themselves. Earth’s mess is thus left to robots to clean up, while the humans upped and went to live in the outer space. 700 years since the humans left Earth, only one robot managed to persist and survive till this day, that is, Wall-E. Wall-E is contented to live each day working to collect, compact and put away the cubes of waste until as long as it manage to last. His life changed one day when another robot arrives in Earth from outer space, and what happens when a robot falls in love?



The main theme of the film is just that, a love story. Can Wall-E ever win the affections of the emotionless Eve? When I first saw a poster for ‘Wall-E’ I thought ‘cool’. Space and beautiful stars? Cool, I like. A cute robot? Cool. But the poster didn’t say much about the plot of the movie. When I finally read about it a few months later(hey, they only reveal stuff later) I finally got it. ‘So it’s gonna be a movie where a robot who had developed emotions falling in love with another emotionless robot. It’s not gonna be a movie about another adventure in space or anything. Plus, the film won’t have much dialogue at all!’ I thought. Do I want to see a movie where human conversation is almost non-existent? Never mind the lack of human voice. The thing is, do I even want to WATCH a movie where the robots make robotic sounds 85% of the time?


The answer is, yes, it’s worth a watch. Let me justify it, well, at least from my POV.


First, the concept of a love story between robots is relatively new. It is, after all, interesting to see HOW Wall-E will strive to change his relationship status. Second, how does Earth look like when it was full of litter and is considered unsuitable to live in? Third, how do humans in the future look like? And finally, why does Eve only come now, after 700 years? And how will the movie writers do justice to the promising storyline concept?



I confess I’m a sucker for stuff space-related. I always liked to stare into the beautiful night sky filled with bright stars. I like to stare at the moon. I loved reading about facts and trivias about the planets, the stars, the supernovas, galaxy all that. The scope of the Universe and its endless possibilities intrigue me. Hell, I’m even a Star Wars fan. So, another movie with space as its background, why not I give it a try?



And I’m so glad I gave the film a try. The film, despite little human presence, was top notch. I loved the film. I never liked watching romantic movies or love stories in general, because there are just too many cheesy romance films with little substance, characters that don’t have any chemistry, and unnecessary kissing and sex scenes. But this, a love story between, of all things, robots, caught my attention all the time. Yes the film is very funny, had a lot of feel good time, but it is full of bittersweetness and aches too. One scene nearly got tears to flow out of my eyes(thankfully, to my credit, I did not, cos I had this *dumb* rule to not ever cry in movies), it was just so sweet and painful at the same time. Another scene managed to make me laugh and on the verge of tears at the same time. I know the girl beside me cried a bit after the film finished though, she was so touched by the film, just like me, tho I hid it better, haha.



The film is not only about a love story. It also explores the idea that one day, just may be, Earth will be so full of wastes it outnumbered us, the humans. What will we have we done to make that happen? Overpopulation? Too little space? We being wasteful? And where shall we live then, shall that happens? Space, just like in the film? I don’t think so.



It also stresses the importance of plants. Trees. Anything green. Because, after all, we do depend on the oxygen-producing plants to survive. If they were to be destroyed into oblivion, how can we live? Why did we, and more precisely how, do we let plants to disappear from the face of Earth? In the film, we literally killed Earth! It may sound ridiculous now, but it is really happening now, even as I am writing this, and even when you are reading this. Trees are felled every moment. A forest the size of a country might be gone the next day when you wake up for school or work. It is a bleak future indeed for the children of the next generation.



Another is of course, the on-going debate about the possibility of robots developing human emotions. New inventions are cropping up everywhere. A robot that can differentiate one human from another. A robot that cleans your house. A robot that will interact with you. Even robots that are made specifically to look like human is under development! Will these robots become us in the future? And how much do we really depend on robots? How much will we depend on them in the future? And will the robot have a mind on its own and start to rebel against us, the humans, its creators, should they come to understand us in the future?



While the film does not delve too deep into the subject matter, it nevertheless succeeded in getting the audience to reflect on the possibilities by spreading it throughout the film evenly.
Okay, enough with all the theories behind the movie. Now I want to talk about the characters. Don’t worry, you won’t get 1hr 45mins of robots beeping electronic sounds here and there! The humans do make an appearance!



First is of course, our lovely little hero, Wall-E. VERRRYYYY cute. Jusr watch him go ‘Waaaallllyyy’. And his mispronunciation of Eve’s name is sooo cute, the way he calls out Eve is just so adorable. Wall-E also demonstrated basic human interaction that sadly, in our own current society, is absent. How many of you are willing to spread out your hand and help out a stranger kindly and introduce yourself and all that, without worrying that the person you are helping could be there to cheat you? And Wall-E’s devotion to his girl…ahh…if only the men would be like him….



Next, is of course, Eve, our heroine! You know what, while watching Eve, I can’t help but think of Angelina Jolie when Eve appears. Seriously! I don’t know why. Eve reminds me of Ms. Jolie very much. At first I didn’t think much about the design of Eve, but later in the film, when Eve finally lets out a laugh, wow, that robot is so well done!! Every emotion, every movement, the animation is great!



All through the movie, the characters convey their emotions through their ‘eyes’ and ‘voices’. Really, a movie that depends so much heavily on the body language and facial expression of the robots will be nothing if the sound effects are not good. If you can’t produce a good enough sound to express a non-talking robot’s expression successfully, then the movie will be a disaster. Fortunately, the sound and body language of all the characters combine wonderfully to produce such an amazing and warm movie. Kudos to Ben Burtt, the guy behind the sound effects, who is also the man responsible for the ‘sounds’ of Star Wars!



Of course there are many more characters but I don’t want to spoil too much.




Overall, this movie can succeed because of its expression, physical and vocally, of its characters. I had no problem at all with the lack of dialogue. It is the lack of dialogue that amplifies the robotic body language and expressions. The animation is so real and convincing. It is a well-done movie indeed!

Ducca's Official 'Dark Knight' review

My, what a treat this movie is. I don’t just see it as the best superhero movie, it is , art-wise, the best film ever. Yes, it is THAT good.


The ‘Dark Knight’ follows our hero a year since the last of the events in the hit 2005 movie ‘Batman Begins’. Thanks to Batman(Christian Bale), along with the works of Lieutenant Jim Gordon(Gary Oldman) and District Attorney Harvey Dent(Aaron Eckhart), Gotham’s streets are getting safer by the second. However, a terror that goes by the name ‘Joker’(Heath Ledger) arises and creates massive chaos, suddenly throwing Gotham into the darkness again with his clever schemes and psychopathic ways. Thus, the showdown between Batman and his strongest enemy yet is about to begin.


The man behind the success of 2005’s ‘Batman Begins’, director Christopher Nolan, returns for this sequel (which is also a remake of the original 1989 movie), along with the majority of the cast; Morgan Freeman as Lucius Fox & Michael Caine as loyal butler Alfred. Maggie Gyllenhall replaces Katie Holmes as Batman/Bruce Wayne’s love interest, DA Rachel Dawes.


Many were anticipating this movie, and expectations were high, as ‘Batman Begins’ was so good it revived the Batman series into a ‘must-see’. However, sadly, ‘Dark Knight’ is also the last completed film by the very talented Heath Ledger, who passed away earlier this year due to accidental drug overdose. Just his portrayal of the psychopathic Joker is enough reason to watch this movie, as, judging from early trailers and previews, his Joker is very different from previous interpretations (Jack Nicholson’s Joker in the original 1989 Batman movie, and the rather forgettable Jim Carrey’s turn as The Joker as well). Plus, with THAT scary a clown makeup, and the vast talent of Heath’s, it should be interesting to see the Joker against Batman right?




The answer is yes, The Joker did shine.





To be fair, all the cast in this movie are strong. All played their part well, but somehow, it is Heath’s Joker that manages to steal the show in every scene he is in. Be it the Joker’s maniacal laughter, or angry reactions to people calling him ‘freak’, or The Joker being the funny clown that he is(to go with his makeup, perhaps? But really there is a real reason for that hideous makeup…), he is amazing. Heath played The Joker so good, you are practically captured into the Joker’s antics, his facial expressions, whatnot. Evil? Yes he is. But funny? That too. The clown, Joker. Heath completely gave the character to The Joker. To me, Heath’s Joker is the best Joker. He completely captures the character’s sad past which made him into what he is today, and he completely captures the twisted mind and mentality of the Joker. It is, truly, a one-of-a-kind Joker. The ‘true’ Joker, in my opinion.


Apart from Heath, ‘Dark Knight’ also introduces two new actors, namely Aaron Eckhart & Maggie Gyllenhall. I am so glad they replaced Katie Holmes for the role of Rachel Dawes, though I read it was due to ‘scheduling conflicts’ that forced Katie Holmes to pull out of this movie. Maggie’s interpretation of DA Rachel Dawes is impressive, and better than Katie’s, which I felt was the only weakness in ‘Batman Begins’. Aaron Eckhart played his role well too, and you really felt for his character, as he tries to fight crime and corruption in his own way, and his ideas of heroism. Perfect role indeed.


One part I find slightly disturbing is actually the character Lucius Fox, played by Morgan Freeman. The reason I find myself disturbed slightly is because I watched the movie ‘Wanted’ before ‘Dark Knight’, and there’s a strange weirdness when I saw Lucius Fox on screen: he just looks so much like 'Sloan' from ‘Wanted’, it’s weird. But fortunately I got my grip on time, reminding myself that this is Lucius Fox, not…and the rest is history.


Of course, if u are going to battle a crazed psychopath hell-bent on making amusement out of other people’s misery, u will need better weapons, better suit and a better vehicle right? U need better technology right? And since Bruce Wayne is practically ‘poor-deficit’ he can easily fork out some of the coolest vehicles and slickest gadgets around to help him catch his guy. In ‘Dark Knight’ we see Batman with his new vehicle, a motorbike (sorta) that goes by the name Batpod. And the way the Batpod is unveiled is oh-so-cool. Bruce Wayne certainly has great toys!!



Great cast and cool vehicles aside, what makes this film even better is its storyline and plot. Yes, for most part of the movie its Batman vs. Joker, but the way the battle is laid out over 2½ hour(some said it’s a bit long, but I felt it was just right) is well-did. All throughout the movie, the movie teaches (or at least it showed, and I learned) what it means to be a true hero. And it also challenges human’s basic morality at one point in the movie. Everything unravels like a crime drama, yet this film does not really present itself as a crime drama.



One word to summarise ‘Dark Knight’: intelligent. This is one intelligent film, just the things you can learn from the movie is enough to make u a wiser person (that is, if u really paid attention to the movie and understood its dialogue and others). From trying to get information from a criminal to betting your life on a game on chance, I personally learned a lot from this film, not to mention its wonderful directing and flawless acting.




I have said it and I will say it again: ‘Dark Knight’ is the best movie ever. The rollercoaster of emotions I had throughout the film is a testimony to that. Never had a movie so successfully captured the audience in the state of mind it wants them to be, whether scaring you with the hard-to-guess antics of The Joker, to a torrid love between the lead characters, to the excitement of who will win in the battle, this film has it all. Nicely balanced over 2½ hours. Heath Ledger really deserves an Oscar just for his performance, and I’m betting good that this film will rank into IMBD’s Top 250 Movies of All-Time, just like its predecessor.


It’s too bad we don’t get to see more of Heath’s acting anymore. The Joker came just as colourful as he left. The Joker-the best villain ever. The ‘Dark Knight’- the best movie ever. 10 stars out of 10. Hands down.



(Ducca watched ‘Dark Knight on 19th July, two days after it hit the screens worldwide)



[This is the ‘formal’ review of Dark Knight from Ducca. For the less formal and ‘unofficial’ review, pls visit Ducca’s Xanga page at www.xanga.com/ducca89, where there are more trivia. The unofficial review is only available on Xanga.]



*written 21.07.08*

I won something!!!!

Ducca has been feeling positive lately. After reading a highly-acclaimed book, I had been changing my thoughts, and the way I think them. The book preaches to think positive, so as to attract more positive things to happen to you. And so Ducca did just that, and not only I am feeling better everyday, but things just seem more…right.



And imagine my surprise when I opened a bag of chips I boughts 2 weeks ago to find a card inside. Of course the card is wrapped in a plastic so as not to contaminate the chips or whatever. Puzzled, though somewhat surprised, I opened the little card to see what it is.



Apparently, I had won a cash redemption. All these positivity is wielding its yield! I think to myself, ‘finally! I actually win something from a promotion!’ before I turn over the card to find it has a deadline, and that was oredi over back in february this year. Oh man! Disappointed ehh!
Gut still…there’s no harm in knowing what amount I had ‘won’, right?? So I took a coin and scratched at a part of the card where it will be revealed how much cash I actually won. After a few seconds of furious scratching and wiping away the debris, my eyes turn wider and wider and my heart beating faster and faster as I read whatever was written on the card.






























“ Wealth will find you soon. Try again.”













*written 13.07.08*

Out of school

A lot had actually happened to Ducca in the past month. Where May is a month of depression for Ducca, the last 2 weeks of June and the beginning of July was a period of intense stress for Ducca.


U see…I nearly lose my job. And there is the problem of me not going to university anytime soon. While my friends, and some of them, already is getting ready for their upcoming semesters, I am left pondering if I would even go to university. I had been accepted into my choice of university already, all I had to do is to attend it.


But due to financial problems that had arisen during these period, Ducca was forced to not enter university anytime soon. So, my friends, I am sorry…I cannot enter uni the same time as u all, and so would not be able to graduate together with y’all. I am sorry. And majorly disappointed.


So for the moment, I would keep on working. I managed to secure back my job on time, so everything is okay. Despite that I am not able to attend university, something tells me this is all right, that it is okay for me to forego university and keep working, at least for the moment. Something tells me to let nature run its course, that this is the path I am meant to take. Of course it’s a bit of a shame I am not able to enter university, but, well, I got a feeling this is a better way. Of what, I don’t know. And why I thought of that, I can’t really explain. It’s like, a gut feeling. And I trust my guts. Okay, gross. I trust my ‘instincts’. Better?


Again, as I said, I am sorely disappointed, but, I get the feeling I am meant to do it this way. I wonder what God has in store for me. Well, for those going to uni or their respective institutions, I wish u all the best in ur studies. Good luck with starting to learn something in a class again!! Bless you all!


*written 13.07.08*

Transition...with a newspaper

I seriously never thought I’d be the newspaper type. I mean, I do read the papers, and since we used to only buy the English paper once a week, I averaged to reading a newspaper only once a week. Other than that, occasionally I would peek into the daily Chinese newspaper, looking only at the entertainment section(yes, I love it when there’s updates on celebrities) and the sports section. That is how I lived with newspapers in the past, before I leave home. Another fact: I prefer English newspapers first to anything else. If there’s none around, and there are Malay and Chinese newspaper lying before me, I would choose the first over the latter. Hehe.


That was before. Now, a lot of things from the first paragraph I mentioned had changed, except one thing: I still prefer English papers over the others. Ever since I’m being away from the familiarity of my family, I only approached newspaper at work, and, not familiar with the newspapers here, I hardly checked them out, except well, the sports and entertainment section again, another thing that hasn’t changed(sorry, I just realized my mistake). I also hardly watch news anymore, since the timing is not right and the news pissed me off when they didn’t report things that I want reported. Ehehe. U can say I am pretty much similar to be ‘living under a rock’, metaphorically.


However, one thing happened this week that made me buy a paper. Wimbledon. The oldest tennis tournament in the world. The most prestigious, and infamous Grand Slam of all. A dream for any tennis player to just play a match in it, much less win it. Every self-respecting(and respect for the game) tennis player wants to win it. And this year is the first time I won’t be catching any of the matches ever since my interest in tennis started. Nevermind that. I have a goal: to watch a final at Wimbledon. I’m sure I can do that. But better if my favourite player is also playing the match. And this year is a challenging year for my fav player. So this Wimbledon is really exciting.


And if u thought that when I mentioned something happened this week that prompted me to buy a paper that I was talking about Euro 2008, I don’t blame you. This year’s edition is full of ups and downs. I might be talking about it. But tennis still remains the sport I loved the most.
The papers at work didn’t mention much about tennis, nor the news(which pissed me off again). So, eager to find out what’s the latest news to come out of the All England tournament, I went to buy a well-known English local paper to satisfy myself. And, while walking to work desperately clinging to the paper with my mere fingers (while holding a bottle, my lunch and my bag), it dawned on me I had become the ‘newspaper type’. The thought dawned on me and I was like ‘Damn!’!


I do not mean to place labels, or separate anything into categories, or placing clichés when I said I had become the ‘newspaper type’. I mean no offense, since I know ‘labeling’ something or someone these days is a sensitive issue. When I said so, what I mean is, I had associated myself with ‘adult’ behavior, since generally during my growing up I associated newspaper-reading with ‘something only old/working/news-addict people will do’, where the ‘old/working/news-addict’ people are adults. And I had become this type of person who walks to work carrying a paper to read(minus the morning coffee). I am slowly, unconsciously, fulfilling the transition from a ‘youngling’ to an ‘adult’. Growing up, I only knew one person who’s the same age as me, who openly declared he liked reading newspapers, and will read it everyday(with coffee!). I am starting to do things my once-naïve(innocent, so as to speak. *winks*) and young mind resented to do, because I had previously thought ‘that is soooo ‘adult’, and why would they do so when u can play and play all day’…


My, my. When they say people changes, I have to agree. It’s a phrase that has been used for a long time, more prominently in advices. People change. I changed. What I’m doing now, what I like doing now, differs from what I like 5 years ago. I changed. I see things in a new way. I am more experienced as I live all my days. Change…..it is a necessary evil. Sometimes it’s for the good, sometimes it’s not.


As we grow up, even our problems change. No matter how positive u want to be, or how positive u are, there would still be problems in our life. The thing is, do we want to label the change as a ‘problem’, or stick with the fact that it is merely a change? A change in our routine of things perceived to be ‘working in order’? I know I am dangerously close to going off-topic again into the subject of ‘problems’, so I guess I had to stop here and think about it another time.


What I was trying to say is, as we grow up, our ‘child’ problems also ‘grow’ to become ‘adult’ problems. When we were younger everything was taken care of our parents so we had little to worry. Our only worries are those that consists of stuff like ‘Will I be able to play with Maria and Anthony tomorrow? I hope mum agrees!’ or ‘I think we still can beat Thompson High, even tho’ they’re the best in the league’; or ‘why is the teacher being so strict?’; or even ‘I just wish David would notice how much I changed just for him to take notice of me’; or ‘Just what the heck in the world must I wear for prom night tomorrow?’


As we leave school(and for some, family) to become part of the ‘working class’, it’s a whole new world out there. Our worries got more and more, and we came to realize the stuffs our parents went through to spare us from such problems. Now as adults we would shake our head and smile while reminiscing our younger selfs and events of the past. As adults we would think, ‘those stuff back in high school actually worried me so much? It’s nothing compared to my current situation!’ As adults we seriously had more to worry about. Rising fuel prices, relationships between coworkers, the job itself, not to mention finding the ‘love of one’s life’. Because in the eyes of our next generation, we are THE adults, and so have to be responsible for a lot of things, and we are the ones that need to protect the children from the harsh realities of life, just like what our previous generation did for us. Me? I’m walking head-on into this stage of my life(while a voice in my head starts telling me that I’m too thick-headed to admit I’m in the stage already).


Why am I thinking so much on this matter? I don’t know. Well, I know actually. To be more precise, I have an idea why. Cos it’s part of my nature. I think a lot, sometimes going overboard and doubts and negativity come creeping into my mind. Is this something worth thinking over, so much so I had to blog about it? Why, yes I think so. Not only I had made the transition from kid to adult(not fully yet, of course), but my problems too, had grown on their own accord. I might associate myself with ‘adult’ behavior and ‘adult’ problems, but at heart I’m pretty much the same old young(can u put ‘young’ straight after an ‘old’?) me, despite my ‘mature’ appearance & behavior that my friends would sometimes tease me about. Still, I am grateful for being blessed with living and working under conditions I find comfortable with, and having the people to support me. I am thankful for them, and looks forward to a better tomorrow each and every day. Thinking positive helps, but being emotionally good-spirited helps a lot too. So, even though it might come as a challenge, I’ll try, wait, I try, to be positive every single day.


And, bless me, I started to do the paper puzzles! And even thought how romantic it would be to wake up each morning sitting in bed doing the morning crossword together with your better half. And the thought that I sucked at the paper crossword even considering my English proficiency doesn’t help much to reduce my problems either. But what the heck, it’s still fun, considering that now I read other sections of the newspaper too, and is now more ‘in touch’ with events of the world, even if in my ‘young’ mind it’s still a pretty much adult affair.



Written 29.06.2008, updated 29.06.2008.