So this week alone it happened two events that was kinda cool to happen to me. First was a photography talk by a renowned professional photographer by the name of Alvin Leong which was held in my campus on wednesday 27th May. Together with Breeze model search and more importantly, Canon, who's goin to display some of their EOS DSLR cameras, of cos i'm going!! That and the fact that i didn't have classes that time...nice....this was an opportunity not to be missed!!
And so i went with my fren, whose interest in photography outweighs my own. After registering ourselves we went into the auditorium. The Canon booth was on the right side, and further up front was a set up for the model photoshooting. To the left is a table with free Breeze magazines. Of cos, both of us went straight to the camera booths.
Some of the cameras are mounted with lens already, like one with telephoto lens and another with zooming lens. We were saying how heavy the equipment will be! Hehehe!!! Then we quickly settled ourselves and wait till everyone was there.....while we spend time talking and occasionally glance at who was in the auditorium xP
Minutes later...the emcee cam eup and asked evryone to be seated..and then mr alvin himself started his talk. i was really glad i went to the talk. i learnt alot. like abt the Digic thing in Canon cameras. And he even recommended wat camera to by for beginners, which i'm gonna take his advice. Lol~~~
He said....as a start, the 1000D model is a good enuff investment. Since u are starting out, there's no need to buy a high-level camera yet. unless u pro already. cos one camera can last 3-5years. by the time is up, there could be better models around already. so yea. if i am really getting a DSLR, i'm gonna buy the 1000D first. Cos it was the only model within my budget. And originally i wanted this one before i switched to target the 450D. So yea...keep my fingeers crossed, i'll save enuff in time to buy one new DSLR!!!
Another cool part of the talk was the Breeze models. 6 had came and were allowed for us to shoot them. naturally, of course i tool the chance to shoot them....even tho my camera is the normal dg ones....while eveyone's is like DSLR...but wth...i dun care...just shoot only...and the nice thing is lvin standing by the side giving tips how to shoot a good angle...and how to communicate with the model....so even tho i had to stop early cos my battery low and memory card full, i was satisfied.... =D
after the photo shoot...me and my friend went over to check out the cameras for real this time. I had to confess, that was the first time ever i hold a DSLR in my hand!!! i was thrilled like a 3 year old...but of cos i hid it. HAHAHAH. so i checked out a 1000D model that had lost battery(or hadn't any battery at all)..and another 1000D that had a type of lens mounted on it...i think its a zooming lens...i took a few shots with it...and i LOVE how it came out. Damn...if only i had this thing to myself to play with!!! then next came the 450D...which i played with too....doesn;t feel too differetn from 1000D tho....or maybe i was too excited to notice...heheheheh yeah.....
and by way of ending the talk...we all did a group photo with alvin.
Yeah. It was a blast all right.
THE SECOND EVENT
Happened on friday, week 12 of class, for 2D animation. for that class we were going to do something outside campus...lecturer posted that we meet at this Bing! cafe in town. and so we went....
The place is nice. I still dun like coffe. But i appreciate the place. then we all sat at the back of the cafe and waited for everyone to come. then lecturer briefed us on wat we all gonna do...and guess what?? Movie shooting!!!!
I was already excited at havin a class out of campus...but movie making made it more interestign!!!! but we werent just making ANY movie. we had to make a short film....in which the characters in the film will have to do super stuff like...disappearing suddenly and reappear...sumthing like that...and well the trick is just in pasting the frames. sounds fun huh!!
so me and my three friends, we went off to look for location to shoot. in the end we ended up beside a nighttime clubbing hotspot...lol...but since its 3pm in the afternoon...there wasn;t anyone. except the ppl working in the club next door getting ready to open business....
so we went back and got a tripod from the lecturer(who's in the cafe) and went back to start shooting. and so we thought up a story: aliens appeared on earth out of nowhere. and then they were looking at their surrounding...their new location. just wat are these aliens doing here? and so they tested their powers in that street...disappear and reappear. in the end of the short film, the aliens moved to the front of the camera and snapped the whole thing off. nice? hope so! xD
and so we got ready. i chose to be director. cos i really wanna direct stuff for once. i like seeing over how films are made. and i really wanted to try. so i volunteered to be director. 2 of them became the 'beautiful' aliens, and another is the 'camerawoman'. HAHAHAHA. sorry din say ur names out. i'm respecting ur privacy....lol.......
and so we shot the film. wat was fun for me was the process. the process of filming...and changing ideas..and stuff. and also the people in the club next door. all of them were watching us film. i feel a bit embarassed but oh well. we had to go on. and credits to my frens the actresses who didn;'t complain abt the 'extra audience'. the people even helped say 'action!' 'ready!' all dat....tho i tink it was to amuse themselves on their part. LOL. filming was made slower due to the fact that people were walking on the streeet....and we needed an empty street at all times to maintain the flow of the film. so everytime a person walks by....we had to wait almost a full minute for them to pass!!
so filming wrapped up around 4.10pm...by that time we were all feeling very hot and thirsty. we went back to find the lecturer and showed her our footage. we were to edit it next week in class. COOL!!!!
and then i went and got sumtign to drink. to satisfy the thirst from all dat heat. in the end i settled with ABC, which my fren highly recommended. and......IT TASTED LIKE HEAVEN!!!!! it was so nice, and costed only $1.50. super valuable!!!! i love it...till i decided to go for second round. HAHAHAH. i ordered another type....i think got six different stuff in it....that kind...adn it tasted good as well!!!! i just tasted the best ices EVER!!!!
So there u go. two things that happened that was rocking awesome that week. of cos...who wud've thought i'm gonna be surprised and disappointed later ab the whole thing frm previous post. but oh well. this isn' wat i wana talk here!! wat i wanna say is the two great events...and...i immortalised it as a blog!! xDDDD
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Lone.Li.Ness. Welcome back~
My old friend is back again. My past had came back to haunt me. Why, of all times, now?? I'm already very busy and stressed with all my assignments, and now, emotional casualties are happening to me again? The timing couldnt have been better.....
I've always reveled in the fact that me, unlike all of my friends, do not have any crush on whoever, and no relationship problems to stress myself out as well. I was the one who wasnt really good looking, and who always get unnoticed by everyone everywhere i go. My shabby appearance helps too. So i was glad that i do not have problems from this department at all.
Wont u feel lonely at times u ask? Yea, i will, sometimes i feel a lil bit awkward seeing other couples around, but the feelings are under my control; i wont get too worked up on it. I still feel okay.
But recently..things happened which brought all that sense of loneliness back again. No, its not about anything in the love department. In the contrary, its another thing all together. Since i am not in a relationship or wat ever, watever things i wanted to share, whoever i wanted to hang out with, i will find my friends. They are liek my anchor of un-loneliness. But...things haf changed....kinda....
I'm starting to feel, even my friends desert me now. They seem to leave me out of alot of things now. Or they do not want to hang out at our usual times now. As a result, i cant help but feel things have changed. Things weren't like how they were last time. Part of the reason was that our critical times have comed: the final exams. Alot of people are stressed,a dn generally we hang out less often. But that wasnt a good enuff excuse, cos, they still hang out with each other, without me in.
Are they bored with me already? I am, after all, a very boring person.
Whatever it is, my old friend, Loneliness, is visiting me again. Soon, his wife, Isolation, might come too.
For now, i shall start grounding myself from everyhting, and everyone, again.
I've always reveled in the fact that me, unlike all of my friends, do not have any crush on whoever, and no relationship problems to stress myself out as well. I was the one who wasnt really good looking, and who always get unnoticed by everyone everywhere i go. My shabby appearance helps too. So i was glad that i do not have problems from this department at all.
Wont u feel lonely at times u ask? Yea, i will, sometimes i feel a lil bit awkward seeing other couples around, but the feelings are under my control; i wont get too worked up on it. I still feel okay.
But recently..things happened which brought all that sense of loneliness back again. No, its not about anything in the love department. In the contrary, its another thing all together. Since i am not in a relationship or wat ever, watever things i wanted to share, whoever i wanted to hang out with, i will find my friends. They are liek my anchor of un-loneliness. But...things haf changed....kinda....
I'm starting to feel, even my friends desert me now. They seem to leave me out of alot of things now. Or they do not want to hang out at our usual times now. As a result, i cant help but feel things have changed. Things weren't like how they were last time. Part of the reason was that our critical times have comed: the final exams. Alot of people are stressed,a dn generally we hang out less often. But that wasnt a good enuff excuse, cos, they still hang out with each other, without me in.
Are they bored with me already? I am, after all, a very boring person.
Whatever it is, my old friend, Loneliness, is visiting me again. Soon, his wife, Isolation, might come too.
For now, i shall start grounding myself from everyhting, and everyone, again.
Rollercoaster ride of emotions~~
I dunno wat to feel. How to feel. I was sore. Disappointed with my friends. I was very down, and selfishly, i was blaming them. I know i shouldn't feel this way; my brain was telling me the right thing to do, but i couldn't do it. I just...couldn't. I knew better, but i couldn't help it.
See, this is over a small matter. Yea, this is going to be huge rant on a small stuff. Hahah. How immature. One would have though i'm waaaayy past that. I thought i had matured. I was not.
I dunno wat's with some people. Right, they are busy, so they need to better manage and schedule their time, so they cant hang out much anymore. Yes, i understand that. What i dont understand is that, why are u doing it the wrong way, in the reverse direction instead of forward? U told me u are too busy for supper, that u cant hang out long for conversations, that u went for dinner instead, but, why can u hang out long time for dinner? Its just a matter of time, isn't it? Supper comes later. That's all. Its the same thing. U still talk and 'waste time'. Why not instead do it during supper, where more of us are around?
Sigh. And yesterday they went out...without even telling me. I was ver disappointed, sad. Why didn't they tell me? And i thought they only go out for awhile. Instead they went out till nightime, and i had to read from Facebook that one of them had the time of his life, and that he managed to buy the stuff he wants. I was so sad. When i texted them abt supper, they already took dinner and wasnt back yet. Imagine my surprise. Cos, i thought we were all gonna go out today later to shop, but instead, they had went first without me and got what they wanted. I was terribly, terribly, left out.
I was angry at them. My mood turned down, i do not feel like i want to face anyone. At all. I dont want to see them. I was angry. Jealous abit, yeah. Jealousy is a scary thing. I do not like it. But there was a tiny pang of jealousy within me that time. Sigh. Well, let them be. watever they wanna do. Just let them.
Today, i tried to reason and analyse(which i'm always doing, anyway). Why hadn;t they tell me anything? Well, i told myself, it could be these: 1) i was going for an excursion for my class and i had a chance to get out to town. Maybe they feel like going out too, since i was already out. 2) They knew i probably wont join them anyway(i had stated earlier i wanna play sports that night), so they didn't even bother to ask. 3) The urge of shopping is too strong to ignore. Other than these 3, i cant think of any anymore.
My answer to that? 1) plain stupid. 2) wth? did u even TRY to ask me? who knows, i just might say yes! and not even tellin me a single thing. that is just disrespectful. Or maybe i was being a busybody and thinking too much. 3) this...i can accept.
What annoyed me more was that while they were shopping, i sustained minor injuries, and i experienced aomething fun earlier, but cant talk to them abt it. Well, i'll tell the world abt it instead. Haha. That's why i'm here...
Yesterday. Everything was goin fine until late afternoon. Since late afternoon i felt like shit. That was when the 'incident' happened. Had the best time in afternoon, only to feel like shit from evening till night. Damn. I was tired, physically and emotionally. And no one asked abt me. At all. A 'how are u?' or 'wat are u doing?'...was visibly absent. Until the late hours in the night when there came a text message to me explaining a low battery whole day as a reason for not replying my text messages, ending with 'How are u?' TOO LATE. ITS TOO LATE. Too late to ask me. Even tho its still nice for him to ask, but it's too late. And to think, he's the only one who ask that. My my. I'm extremely disappointed in all of them. Or was i expecting too much?
My emo side is getting at me again. Whenever something like this happens, i would dwell on my emo-ness for a long time, and basically being a piece of emo crap. Sigh. I dunno wat to do now, except avoiding them if possible. I cant face them yet. Face them with my normal attitude. If i saw them, i know i'll be unjust to them by treating them cold, and the worst thing is they dunno what their actions had did to me!!! And i do not liek it when ppl was wrong and didn;t knew it; then they get all confused why my attitude changed or sumting. Sigh. People. And relationships. And my own silly principles. Sigh. How do i get mad? How do i stop being mad? I do not know. Maybe time will wash away everything.
Sometimes, i would think, 'What if one day i fainted on the road, or gotten myself into an accident, and no one knew, because they were having too much fun? What if they only knew when it was too late?'
TOO LATE. Sad words that feels worse with regret.
*end*
p/s i will post more emo thoughts again from yesterday. Meanwhile i will also post two things that happened to me which i thought was AWESOME! which happened in this week alone. Dont miss out(if i still have any readers left, that is)!!
See, this is over a small matter. Yea, this is going to be huge rant on a small stuff. Hahah. How immature. One would have though i'm waaaayy past that. I thought i had matured. I was not.
I dunno wat's with some people. Right, they are busy, so they need to better manage and schedule their time, so they cant hang out much anymore. Yes, i understand that. What i dont understand is that, why are u doing it the wrong way, in the reverse direction instead of forward? U told me u are too busy for supper, that u cant hang out long for conversations, that u went for dinner instead, but, why can u hang out long time for dinner? Its just a matter of time, isn't it? Supper comes later. That's all. Its the same thing. U still talk and 'waste time'. Why not instead do it during supper, where more of us are around?
Sigh. And yesterday they went out...without even telling me. I was ver disappointed, sad. Why didn't they tell me? And i thought they only go out for awhile. Instead they went out till nightime, and i had to read from Facebook that one of them had the time of his life, and that he managed to buy the stuff he wants. I was so sad. When i texted them abt supper, they already took dinner and wasnt back yet. Imagine my surprise. Cos, i thought we were all gonna go out today later to shop, but instead, they had went first without me and got what they wanted. I was terribly, terribly, left out.
I was angry at them. My mood turned down, i do not feel like i want to face anyone. At all. I dont want to see them. I was angry. Jealous abit, yeah. Jealousy is a scary thing. I do not like it. But there was a tiny pang of jealousy within me that time. Sigh. Well, let them be. watever they wanna do. Just let them.
Today, i tried to reason and analyse(which i'm always doing, anyway). Why hadn;t they tell me anything? Well, i told myself, it could be these: 1) i was going for an excursion for my class and i had a chance to get out to town. Maybe they feel like going out too, since i was already out. 2) They knew i probably wont join them anyway(i had stated earlier i wanna play sports that night), so they didn't even bother to ask. 3) The urge of shopping is too strong to ignore. Other than these 3, i cant think of any anymore.
My answer to that? 1) plain stupid. 2) wth? did u even TRY to ask me? who knows, i just might say yes! and not even tellin me a single thing. that is just disrespectful. Or maybe i was being a busybody and thinking too much. 3) this...i can accept.
What annoyed me more was that while they were shopping, i sustained minor injuries, and i experienced aomething fun earlier, but cant talk to them abt it. Well, i'll tell the world abt it instead. Haha. That's why i'm here...
Yesterday. Everything was goin fine until late afternoon. Since late afternoon i felt like shit. That was when the 'incident' happened. Had the best time in afternoon, only to feel like shit from evening till night. Damn. I was tired, physically and emotionally. And no one asked abt me. At all. A 'how are u?' or 'wat are u doing?'...was visibly absent. Until the late hours in the night when there came a text message to me explaining a low battery whole day as a reason for not replying my text messages, ending with 'How are u?' TOO LATE. ITS TOO LATE. Too late to ask me. Even tho its still nice for him to ask, but it's too late. And to think, he's the only one who ask that. My my. I'm extremely disappointed in all of them. Or was i expecting too much?
My emo side is getting at me again. Whenever something like this happens, i would dwell on my emo-ness for a long time, and basically being a piece of emo crap. Sigh. I dunno wat to do now, except avoiding them if possible. I cant face them yet. Face them with my normal attitude. If i saw them, i know i'll be unjust to them by treating them cold, and the worst thing is they dunno what their actions had did to me!!! And i do not liek it when ppl was wrong and didn;t knew it; then they get all confused why my attitude changed or sumting. Sigh. People. And relationships. And my own silly principles. Sigh. How do i get mad? How do i stop being mad? I do not know. Maybe time will wash away everything.
Sometimes, i would think, 'What if one day i fainted on the road, or gotten myself into an accident, and no one knew, because they were having too much fun? What if they only knew when it was too late?'
TOO LATE. Sad words that feels worse with regret.
*end*
p/s i will post more emo thoughts again from yesterday. Meanwhile i will also post two things that happened to me which i thought was AWESOME! which happened in this week alone. Dont miss out(if i still have any readers left, that is)!!
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Troubling times ahead....
Hmmm....all that seems well is not well...troubles are cropping up everywhere....so many problems...how to resolve?
Study problems...relationship problems...material problems...it is everywhere...sometimes i wish...that i wouldn't have to face all that problem...but then, where's the excitement in life if like that? heheheeh...
first thing...i wanna say how grateful and thankful i am to have met a wonderful bunch of friends ever since coming here...they are a great bunch of friends...very funny and easy-going...we can talk abt virtually anything...and also good friends who happen to be my coursemates....and this is where the problem lies...except for a very few...i'm not very close with my other coursemates....heheh...we see each other like strangers...which feels weird, giving we have to stay with each other for 3 more years....well, i guess...we have alot of time!! xD
other than that...hmmm...i am glad i didn't have any personal relationship problems whatsoever....lucky me...for i have less thing to worry about...i was already very busy...definitely no more time for personal loves!! but one thing that worries me is my friend...hmm...i always like to worry for other people...ahhaha...no wonder i'm so emo all the time....hohohohoh....pathetic eyh....
thing is....no one likes her bf...we can all sense that her bf is not a good guy...but...how can we tell her? she has already been brainwashed...cant really make good judgement...and that's really sad...cos i know she's a smart person...but this guy is too persuasive...influence too much...i'm worried she wont be able to resist him someday...i do not want her to be hurt!! i'm very sorry to say this, but seriously think that they are gonna break up sooner or later...
ok...enough abt her...if i seriously want talk abt it its gonna take forever....hmm...another thing that i have to worry abt is money...my well is drying up very very very fast!!!! i need more water input....heehehhhe....hmmm...just hope my bro knows how to handle his money really wisely...else i'm gonna be bankrupt for real....
hmmm....campus is full of nicely-dressed ladies and gents...but seriously...all of them abit of show-off innit? well, i guess, its normal human behaviour...when i see all these pretty girls and boys shop...hmm...abit jealous they have all the money to spend....whereas i had to dig really really deep into my pockets for a simple t-shirt...hmm...dunno...shudn't be jealous...just accept it...its them and their own wealth...it doesn't concern me...all i have to do is keep strong to my discipline and principles...be my own self....not be influenced by others to follow them....heheheheh...
wat else wat else? hmmm....assignmetns are burying me...i dont think i'll be seeing much of my friends anytime soon...so sad....i really liked their company...heheheheh....but i have to focus....i must get serious now!!! i don spend my family fortune to fail my subjects!!!
till then...ciao~~
Study problems...relationship problems...material problems...it is everywhere...sometimes i wish...that i wouldn't have to face all that problem...but then, where's the excitement in life if like that? heheheeh...
first thing...i wanna say how grateful and thankful i am to have met a wonderful bunch of friends ever since coming here...they are a great bunch of friends...very funny and easy-going...we can talk abt virtually anything...and also good friends who happen to be my coursemates....and this is where the problem lies...except for a very few...i'm not very close with my other coursemates....heheh...we see each other like strangers...which feels weird, giving we have to stay with each other for 3 more years....well, i guess...we have alot of time!! xD
other than that...hmmm...i am glad i didn't have any personal relationship problems whatsoever....lucky me...for i have less thing to worry about...i was already very busy...definitely no more time for personal loves!! but one thing that worries me is my friend...hmm...i always like to worry for other people...ahhaha...no wonder i'm so emo all the time....hohohohoh....pathetic eyh....
thing is....no one likes her bf...we can all sense that her bf is not a good guy...but...how can we tell her? she has already been brainwashed...cant really make good judgement...and that's really sad...cos i know she's a smart person...but this guy is too persuasive...influence too much...i'm worried she wont be able to resist him someday...i do not want her to be hurt!! i'm very sorry to say this, but seriously think that they are gonna break up sooner or later...
ok...enough abt her...if i seriously want talk abt it its gonna take forever....hmm...another thing that i have to worry abt is money...my well is drying up very very very fast!!!! i need more water input....heehehhhe....hmmm...just hope my bro knows how to handle his money really wisely...else i'm gonna be bankrupt for real....
hmmm....campus is full of nicely-dressed ladies and gents...but seriously...all of them abit of show-off innit? well, i guess, its normal human behaviour...when i see all these pretty girls and boys shop...hmm...abit jealous they have all the money to spend....whereas i had to dig really really deep into my pockets for a simple t-shirt...hmm...dunno...shudn't be jealous...just accept it...its them and their own wealth...it doesn't concern me...all i have to do is keep strong to my discipline and principles...be my own self....not be influenced by others to follow them....heheheheh...
wat else wat else? hmmm....assignmetns are burying me...i dont think i'll be seeing much of my friends anytime soon...so sad....i really liked their company...heheheheh....but i have to focus....i must get serious now!!! i don spend my family fortune to fail my subjects!!!
till then...ciao~~
My my....
What's this what's this? I thought i decided to keep my blog really updated? Now....a whole April is gone before this new post. What i can say is...time flies!! Heh...musta lost all my readers alreaady...hohohhoho.....one way to lose ur followers is to disappear..hahahah...easy ehh??
Here's hoping i'll find new readers with the new postings....hahaha....see how the time fits...cos...i will be reallly really busy as hell soon....more than 10 assignments and exercises awaits me...all to be handed up early june...tis a time to work hard man!!! to work my ass off!!! i cannot afford to lose out...i cannot afford to fail!!!! and on top of that, i had to master a software i barely know in one months time in order to fully utilise it!!! So fucked!!!
wish me luckk.....and i wish good luck to those out there...doin whatever in wherever....till then.....ciao~~~
Here's hoping i'll find new readers with the new postings....hahaha....see how the time fits...cos...i will be reallly really busy as hell soon....more than 10 assignments and exercises awaits me...all to be handed up early june...tis a time to work hard man!!! to work my ass off!!! i cannot afford to lose out...i cannot afford to fail!!!! and on top of that, i had to master a software i barely know in one months time in order to fully utilise it!!! So fucked!!!
wish me luckk.....and i wish good luck to those out there...doin whatever in wherever....till then.....ciao~~~
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Another start, another chapter
It seems, as fate would have it, it had happened.
As i passed through the gate into my campus, the only thought in my mind was, "I'm really here." So surreal. A year ago, something like this seemed impossible to happen. But, strangely, it HAD happened.
I was referring to me back to studying again. I couldn't take it anymore where i was last time, where i was previously. All the stuff and drama that occured was too much for me. I HAD to leave, knowing i would be happy in leaving, and other people happy in me leaving too. Their lives could return to normal. As for me......
I was back. Finally. I could be with my family again. Sure, some things have changed, but i was happy again, at least. I found love and warmth again with them. Just being around the people u've loved all ur entire time just lifted me out of my spirits, even tho' a lil this and a lil that happened, which caused us to argue a few times. I didn't mind that, because the arguements is part of our family life. It was, thankfully for most of the time, back to the old times...
But sadly, i left them again. After a mere two weeks. Too short, i told myself. I hadn't tasted all mum's cooking. I haven't watched movies with dad. I didn't play enough with my brother. Too short. But i had to go, for another chapter in my life is about to begin.
A year ago, i was offered a place into one of the private universities in my country. As happy as i was, i knew from the bottom in my heart that i wouldn't be able to study there as it was a very pricey university. So my dreams were shattered.
I remember the day when the news came. I cried, knowing that the truth i tried to put behind me came true. Mum was sorry, i was sorry. I blamed. Blamed only myself. But i told myself i should be strong and just live life with positivity...
Opportunity came. The new intake is open, and finally, there existed a course that suited what i wanted to learn(it was previously nonexistent in this particular uni, which was why i rejected going there in the first place), and what's more, with this particular uni, i stand a better chance to get a loan to support my studies. And so, after all the procedures, i went to the university.
So here i am...studying again. I found out how much i missed studying. Now is the last frontier. Now is the time. Now is the stage where i'll stage out a successful career in the future. Now is where i lay all my foundation. Now is the moment.
Thanks to my family. Thanks to my friends. Thanks to my agent. Thanks to the people who wished me well. I will try my best and shine.
And thanks to God. I think He made me go thru a miserable one year just so i could arrive where i am today.
As i passed through the gate into my campus, the only thought in my mind was, "I'm really here." So surreal. A year ago, something like this seemed impossible to happen. But, strangely, it HAD happened.
I was referring to me back to studying again. I couldn't take it anymore where i was last time, where i was previously. All the stuff and drama that occured was too much for me. I HAD to leave, knowing i would be happy in leaving, and other people happy in me leaving too. Their lives could return to normal. As for me......
I was back. Finally. I could be with my family again. Sure, some things have changed, but i was happy again, at least. I found love and warmth again with them. Just being around the people u've loved all ur entire time just lifted me out of my spirits, even tho' a lil this and a lil that happened, which caused us to argue a few times. I didn't mind that, because the arguements is part of our family life. It was, thankfully for most of the time, back to the old times...
But sadly, i left them again. After a mere two weeks. Too short, i told myself. I hadn't tasted all mum's cooking. I haven't watched movies with dad. I didn't play enough with my brother. Too short. But i had to go, for another chapter in my life is about to begin.
A year ago, i was offered a place into one of the private universities in my country. As happy as i was, i knew from the bottom in my heart that i wouldn't be able to study there as it was a very pricey university. So my dreams were shattered.
I remember the day when the news came. I cried, knowing that the truth i tried to put behind me came true. Mum was sorry, i was sorry. I blamed. Blamed only myself. But i told myself i should be strong and just live life with positivity...
Opportunity came. The new intake is open, and finally, there existed a course that suited what i wanted to learn(it was previously nonexistent in this particular uni, which was why i rejected going there in the first place), and what's more, with this particular uni, i stand a better chance to get a loan to support my studies. And so, after all the procedures, i went to the university.
So here i am...studying again. I found out how much i missed studying. Now is the last frontier. Now is the time. Now is the stage where i'll stage out a successful career in the future. Now is where i lay all my foundation. Now is the moment.
Thanks to my family. Thanks to my friends. Thanks to my agent. Thanks to the people who wished me well. I will try my best and shine.
And thanks to God. I think He made me go thru a miserable one year just so i could arrive where i am today.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
It's been so long....
....since i last blogged. Must have lost all my readers already. Hahahahha!!!
Sorry peeps....me no chance online for the past months as work's been driving me nuts, what with more colourful people coming into my life as well, the good, and the bad.
Interesting things have also cropped up in my life, what with all the spices God has thrown into the pot of mixture that is my life. Interesting events, improved relationships, emotions that went around like a rollercoaster ride. Is it good? Issit bad? All i can say is, all that happened are merely lessons...lessons that one ought to learn in life....
I have more stories to tell...but now's not the time...wanna hear? Hit me up!
Sorry peeps....me no chance online for the past months as work's been driving me nuts, what with more colourful people coming into my life as well, the good, and the bad.
Interesting things have also cropped up in my life, what with all the spices God has thrown into the pot of mixture that is my life. Interesting events, improved relationships, emotions that went around like a rollercoaster ride. Is it good? Issit bad? All i can say is, all that happened are merely lessons...lessons that one ought to learn in life....
I have more stories to tell...but now's not the time...wanna hear? Hit me up!
Sunday, September 21, 2008
One year difference
Ducca’s birthday a year ago was, well, eventful. In a good way, of course. On that day something happened that was previously unrecorded in Ducca’s past birthdays. Not that Ducca’s past birthdays are dull, in fact, every birthday is special to Ducca, but, the memory of last year’s birthday is especially sharp.
If one year ago, during my birthday, if you’d told me I’ll be spending my next birthday with strangers in an alien place, I would have laughed in your face.
But it did happen. A year ago, my mates sang the birthday song during class which made my face extremely red. A year later, I’m in a totally new place which I visited for the first time, spending my time with around 60 people I had not known existed before. And no, they didn’t sing the birthday song. Thank god. Lol!
All I can say is, what a difference a year makes. The saying, though clichéd, rings so true: you never know what will happen tomorrow, let alone a year! Though this year I’m far away from my closed ones(I miss them badly!), events that happened made this year’s birthday another special occasion.
Because I had to be outstation for days leading up to my birthday, I really can’t celebrate it on the big day itself. Thus, my relatives over here celebrated with me a few days earlier(thanks!) and the next day I was off to work outstation for 3 days.
Around two hours left to the start of my birth-day I received a surprise from one of my colleagues who was also outstation with me. Ohh..i really didn’t expect him to treat me, so I was really surprised when it came. And then the clock struck midnight, and well, my birth-day began!
I spent the first hour of my birth-day playing ps2 with virtual strangers, which happened to be my hostel mates for the day. It’s been such a loooong time I last touched a ps2, and I deserve to play till late night ahh!! Ahahah!! I was already starting to like my hostel mates a lot. They are very kind and warm and funny and approachable.
I went to sleep around 2am after that, only to wake up 4 hrs later for work! The whole day I was trying hard not to fall asleep during work, with a slight headache too. But I told myself this is only for a day, how many times do u have the opportunity to work elsewhere and spend good time with people you just met? So what if I slept late? I don’t get to do this often!
When it was time to say goodbye, there was the tiny feeling of sadness there again. over the relatively short time we had, I had grown to like the place and its people a lot. I was sure I’m gonna miss them! One of them greeted my birthday as we parted, and I’m thanking him in my heart that he remembered, tho I suspect he still couldn’t remember my name!
For dinner I bought some Dunkin’ Donuts(we don’t that store where I’m staying) and off we’re back to our original town. I checked my phone and found there were a few messages from my friends greeting me. Aww..you guys!! Thanks a lot!! This marks the first year I’m not seeing my friends on my birthday, and also theirs. Sigh. Don’t worry, when we gather in the future, let’s party till we drop our pants!! XP
So. A year is all it takes for all the difference. A year later I’m in a new place, around new people, doing new things. I wonder then, how will my birthday next year take place? Another new place? Another new event? Another person to share it with? Who knows? I only know that, a year from now, I’ll look back at last year and this year with fond memories.
This is an account of how I spent my first birthday away from my loved ones, what I did, how I did it and who I did it with. I miss you guys. Thanks for all you’ve done.
*written 21st Sep*
If one year ago, during my birthday, if you’d told me I’ll be spending my next birthday with strangers in an alien place, I would have laughed in your face.
But it did happen. A year ago, my mates sang the birthday song during class which made my face extremely red. A year later, I’m in a totally new place which I visited for the first time, spending my time with around 60 people I had not known existed before. And no, they didn’t sing the birthday song. Thank god. Lol!
All I can say is, what a difference a year makes. The saying, though clichéd, rings so true: you never know what will happen tomorrow, let alone a year! Though this year I’m far away from my closed ones(I miss them badly!), events that happened made this year’s birthday another special occasion.
Because I had to be outstation for days leading up to my birthday, I really can’t celebrate it on the big day itself. Thus, my relatives over here celebrated with me a few days earlier(thanks!) and the next day I was off to work outstation for 3 days.
Around two hours left to the start of my birth-day I received a surprise from one of my colleagues who was also outstation with me. Ohh..i really didn’t expect him to treat me, so I was really surprised when it came. And then the clock struck midnight, and well, my birth-day began!
I spent the first hour of my birth-day playing ps2 with virtual strangers, which happened to be my hostel mates for the day. It’s been such a loooong time I last touched a ps2, and I deserve to play till late night ahh!! Ahahah!! I was already starting to like my hostel mates a lot. They are very kind and warm and funny and approachable.
I went to sleep around 2am after that, only to wake up 4 hrs later for work! The whole day I was trying hard not to fall asleep during work, with a slight headache too. But I told myself this is only for a day, how many times do u have the opportunity to work elsewhere and spend good time with people you just met? So what if I slept late? I don’t get to do this often!
When it was time to say goodbye, there was the tiny feeling of sadness there again. over the relatively short time we had, I had grown to like the place and its people a lot. I was sure I’m gonna miss them! One of them greeted my birthday as we parted, and I’m thanking him in my heart that he remembered, tho I suspect he still couldn’t remember my name!
For dinner I bought some Dunkin’ Donuts(we don’t that store where I’m staying) and off we’re back to our original town. I checked my phone and found there were a few messages from my friends greeting me. Aww..you guys!! Thanks a lot!! This marks the first year I’m not seeing my friends on my birthday, and also theirs. Sigh. Don’t worry, when we gather in the future, let’s party till we drop our pants!! XP
So. A year is all it takes for all the difference. A year later I’m in a new place, around new people, doing new things. I wonder then, how will my birthday next year take place? Another new place? Another new event? Another person to share it with? Who knows? I only know that, a year from now, I’ll look back at last year and this year with fond memories.
This is an account of how I spent my first birthday away from my loved ones, what I did, how I did it and who I did it with. I miss you guys. Thanks for all you’ve done.
*written 21st Sep*
Sunday, September 14, 2008
A rare day
Like most of Ducca's friends, Ducca has two birthdays in a year, one from the lunar month, and one from the widely used 'English' calendar(Gregorian, issit? can't remember the official name). But the two birthdays never fall on the same day for as long as Ducca remembers. Then it occured, it never happened since Ducca was born.
But this year, it's different. This year, in fact, Ducca finally gets two have two birthays on the same day.
This year's birthday is really really special. It is xtremely rare that the two dates fall on the same day. The last time this happened was, well, was on the day Ducca was born!!!
The next time it happens again...well...Ducca might be very old already till then...so let's savour this year's b'day with awesomeness!!!
But there's a downside though...this year marks the first year Ducca is without Ducca's loved ones near during the bithday...and on such a special, once-in-a-few-decades year....it makes the heart ache....it's just too bad...and sad...
But Ducca refuses to be saddened by this fact...it is, after all, a special day, and why spoil it? Whether Ducca is going to celebrate it alone or not, at least, take heed in knowing that this is not a moment to be missed...
Happy Birthday Ducca!!!
But this year, it's different. This year, in fact, Ducca finally gets two have two birthays on the same day.
This year's birthday is really really special. It is xtremely rare that the two dates fall on the same day. The last time this happened was, well, was on the day Ducca was born!!!
The next time it happens again...well...Ducca might be very old already till then...so let's savour this year's b'day with awesomeness!!!
But there's a downside though...this year marks the first year Ducca is without Ducca's loved ones near during the bithday...and on such a special, once-in-a-few-decades year....it makes the heart ache....it's just too bad...and sad...
But Ducca refuses to be saddened by this fact...it is, after all, a special day, and why spoil it? Whether Ducca is going to celebrate it alone or not, at least, take heed in knowing that this is not a moment to be missed...
Happy Birthday Ducca!!!
Saturday, September 6, 2008
What price would you pay?
Seven dollars. It's not really that much. But for a poor ass ex-student with low income living off breads almost everyday, seven dollars is a heavy sum to pay up. So, to be fair(to my wallet too), i live by a fairly loose rule: if you want to spend, make sure it's damn worth it. And no regrets.
It was a Monday, and i had an extra off day. What do i do? I have two choices: either stay at home and listen to 3 kids shouting, crying, playing and fighting outside your door, or go to the mall. Being the bored ass i was, either i get out, or explode in my own room.
So there i was, in the mall. Wanting to catch a movie, i went straight to the cinema. there wasn't much choice; there's only 'Money No Enough 2', 'Babylon AD' and 'Death Race' being shown among other thai horror movie and malay romance film. And Wall-E. I chose to watch 'Money' first, and in i go.
After 2 hrs i came out, not knowing what to do, and where to go. Why not, i say, watch another movie, just to pass time? Now i'm left with 'Death' nd 'Babylon'. From the papers, 'Babylon' didn't get good reviews. And 'Death' does not really appeal to me either. I have a feeling that i would be disappointed in both films, a feeling both won't be the kind of film i reeeaaalllllly enjoy, but what to do? Do i want to spend another seven dollars for a movie i think will be crappy?
My logical side is screaming 'IIDDIIIOOOTTTTT!!!!!!' as i handed the girl behind the ticket counter my cash. i went in for the movie, and i came out feeling a little pissed. The movie is THAT bad. Shit!!!!
There i am...a bit regretful for sitting through the movie...but later i reasoned, hell, it is waaay worth it than enduring kid's screams and shouts and tantrums. Seven dollars of freedom....seven dollars of crap movie...a small price to pay.
i made it sound if the kids are kids from hell. Well, they are, in a way, when they have their tantrums(which, by the way, almost all the time!)...
So yea. what price would you pay to escape these kids? i say seven is just right.
By the way, the crappy movie which i went to is 'Babylon'. The paper was right. Damn. ANd i have no intention to watch 'Death' either.
It was a Monday, and i had an extra off day. What do i do? I have two choices: either stay at home and listen to 3 kids shouting, crying, playing and fighting outside your door, or go to the mall. Being the bored ass i was, either i get out, or explode in my own room.
So there i was, in the mall. Wanting to catch a movie, i went straight to the cinema. there wasn't much choice; there's only 'Money No Enough 2', 'Babylon AD' and 'Death Race' being shown among other thai horror movie and malay romance film. And Wall-E. I chose to watch 'Money' first, and in i go.
After 2 hrs i came out, not knowing what to do, and where to go. Why not, i say, watch another movie, just to pass time? Now i'm left with 'Death' nd 'Babylon'. From the papers, 'Babylon' didn't get good reviews. And 'Death' does not really appeal to me either. I have a feeling that i would be disappointed in both films, a feeling both won't be the kind of film i reeeaaalllllly enjoy, but what to do? Do i want to spend another seven dollars for a movie i think will be crappy?
My logical side is screaming 'IIDDIIIOOOTTTTT!!!!!!' as i handed the girl behind the ticket counter my cash. i went in for the movie, and i came out feeling a little pissed. The movie is THAT bad. Shit!!!!
There i am...a bit regretful for sitting through the movie...but later i reasoned, hell, it is waaay worth it than enduring kid's screams and shouts and tantrums. Seven dollars of freedom....seven dollars of crap movie...a small price to pay.
i made it sound if the kids are kids from hell. Well, they are, in a way, when they have their tantrums(which, by the way, almost all the time!)...
So yea. what price would you pay to escape these kids? i say seven is just right.
By the way, the crappy movie which i went to is 'Babylon'. The paper was right. Damn. ANd i have no intention to watch 'Death' either.
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